Best joke ever: my love life.
So Semester 1 has been and gone, and with it brought tears, tantrums, heartbreak, love and laughter. We wonder how we survived the past 12 weeks without the comfort of our parents, our best friends and our cats. Comfort eating has amplified our waistline to an alarming degree and our ever increasing workload took a back seat whilst we prioritised our forever messy love lives.
However, here’s where things are going to change. No longer will we listen to Adele on repeat, singing into an empty bottle of wine on a Friday night. No longer will we try to live on salads for a week to look perfect for Him, when really he’s trying to get into our best friend’s pants. Here are our new and improved “Boys to Avoid Guide” we can all read in preparation for Semester 2.
Boys to Avoid
- The LAD
We have all been there. He knows exactly how to talk to girls, he’s confident and he’s bounce-a-coin-off-his-abs sort of fit. If the lingering smell of fake tan doesn’t put you off, then hopefully his vanity will. What guy spends longer on his hair than you do? His laddy antics make him stand out from the crowd, and his friends worship the ground he walks on. He’s the sort of joker that get’s naked for everyone to see, and realistically, it’s not always that impressive…
- The nerd
He’s sensitive, intelligent and adorable in a meet-my-parents, marry-me-now kind of way. You have visions of your future together; the house, the wedding, the three kids and the pedigree dog, because he literally has no faults. Until he stops texting you; his work has become his priority, you don’t fit in with his busy schedule, and he’s not sure about ‘us’ anymore.
- Your neighbour
He’s charming, he’s seen you without make up on and he still thinks you’re beautiful; it’s like living together already. It won’t be awkward. Oh, he’s got with another girl? Now it’s awkward. You only have to live with him for another 6 months. Seeing his face…everyday. So, you want to move into different halls?
For now, Semester 1 is still raw in our minds and hearts, so I allow you that bottle of wine you’ll regret in the morning, I have Adele CD’s in surplus, I’ve eaten all the chocolates from my advent calendar and drunk dialling my ex is definitely on the cards.
Things can only get better in Semester 2.
Anonymous
Images from:
http://mimoserabiscos.wordpress.com/page/2/
http://topbodybuildingtips.tumblr.com/
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-big-bang-theory/articles/leonard