Dear Freshmen,
If there’s one thing you should really know about leaving for college, it’s that the way you interact with people is going to change. You’re going to be meeting new people and trying to stay in touch with old friends at the same time. It can be a lot to handle. So what do you do when you go home for Thanksgiving break and you find that your best friend – the girl that you spent all of middle school and high school with – has become a completely different person? The only answer I have is to accept it.
I know, I know, it would be easier if everything could just go back to the way it was, with late night gossip sessions or long drives to your favorite spot, but that’s just not how life works. One of the biggest problems that people have is realizing that their old friends have new friends. Jealousy is a nasty thing and it can creep up on you when you least expect it. Sure, you’ve made some new friends at your school, but you didn’t expect that your BFF would come home with a gaggle of new girlfriends. The fact of the matter is that people expand their horizons in college. Just remember that while your best friend might have tons of new gal pals, chances are that you don’t mean any less to her, so don’t shut her out immediately. She’s your best friend for a reason, and new friends shouldn’t change that.
But what do you do if your best friend has new friends, but you’re still working on it? Give it time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the best friendships aren’t always forged in a matter of weeks. Just because you don’t have a super-close confidante at you school yet doesn’t mean that you never will. Sometimes the best thing to do is wait it out. In the first couple of months of school, everyone is still finding their niche. It might seem like everyone has a clique but you, but in reality, there are still plenty of people who are feeling the same way you are. Give it some time, put yourself out there, and things will fall into place.
So maybe new friends are no big deal to you, but say that your closest friend has come home and you don’t even recognize her. She’s cut her hair, wears pearls, and has become a total sorority girl, when you swore you would both stay Greek free! You might be in total shock, but you should take a look at yourself as well. That cute nose piercing you got with your roommate? You can bet that your BFF is just as surprised as you are, so don’t be too hard on her.
The best thing that you can do to help ease yourself into changing relationships is simply to be accepting, and realize that you’ve probably changed too. Everyone is going through a major life change their freshman year, so keep your head cool and calm and you’ll be just fine. If your best friend is truly your best friend, then you will both take the necessary time and work to keep the relationship going. You may have to re-learn some things about each other and while that sounds scary, it can also be a lot of fun.