Imagine meeting someone, hitting it off and before you know it you’ve exchanged numbers as scenarios of ‘what ifs’ run sporadically through your mind. He meets all the musts on your check list, impressing your friends, ambitious, is insanely cute and is definitely someone you’d like to get to know more. But, perhaps there is one thing that seems like a big problem. Maybe he is several years younger or older than you. Maybe, he lives in another town. Or, maybe he’s even a popular musician. Carlene* could help calm your fears. She is an expert on this because she is dating All-American Rejects lead-guitarist, Nick Wheeler.
Dating for nearly six months, Carlene, 19 and Wheeler, 30, had that ‘small world’ chance of meeting. Both from the Oklahoma area, they met while Carlene was interviewing Wheeler for an article in the Daily O’Collegian.
“I was doing my music reporter job and Nick was my interview,” Carlene says. “It’s a small world, what are the odds?”
Now dating for roughly six months, the couple, despite the almost a decade age difference, balances each other out with essential characteristics, such as maturity and appreciation, that are crucial for a successful relationship.
“Having no insecurities, a strong sense of identity and knowing what we want is very important.” Carlene says. “It’s also helpful to know someone who’s been through it all to help make life decisions.”
Like a parent, who isn’t your parent, Wheeler and Carlene also remind each other to appreciate the little things in life.
“Like the clouds on planes,” Carlene says. “It’s not every day I get to travel all over and take plane rides. It’s kind of like college to Nick because it’s something he hasn’t experienced, so our different mentalities balance out and to see things in a new light.”
Although Wheeler definitely doesn’t lead the life of a regular 30-year old, the distance between the couple is another major factor to accept. But in Carlene’s eyes, “You learn how much you like a person and how committed you want to be when you’re apart.”
Carlene isn’t the only one to experience an age gap in a relationship. It isn’t age that truly draws people of all kinds together, it’s their personalities.
Even if there is a slight or even drastic difference in years, some things are worth the risk. And if effort for a happy relationship is put in from both ends, who knows what things could lead to? So, next time you meet someone special, but there’s a drawback that’s keeping you from pursuing that person, give these steps a shot:
- Evaluate the pros and cons, and which ones out number the others
- Think time – is it a wise investment for the long run. Or is it just a seasonal fling?
- Assess the commitment level – become familiar with yourself and honestly decide if this relationship is for you.
*Name has been changed.