Just as teenage girls of the ‘80s had Dirty Dancing, Pretty in Pink, and Sixteen Candles, young women of the “aughts” have been blessed with the trifecta of He’s Just Not That Into You, No Strings Attached, and – of course – How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days. It’s comforting to believe that a movie might be able to teach you the “proper” way to act in a relationship, or how to deal with the shocking revelation that a guy might just not be feeling you. Lets be serious, though – no matter how many times we’ve studied these films or been lectured by female friends on what we “did wrong,” the fact remains that girls and guys do not think in the same way.
We Collegiettes have our own conceptions of what behavior to avoid in the early stages of a relationship, but, in reality, how accurate is our supposed insight into the minds of men? Lets see how Tufts girls’ ideas of how to lose a guy in ten ways measures up to the thoughts of those guys’ we are pursuing…
Next Page: He Said…
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He Said: His Top Ten Deal-Breakers Are … *
A girl who …
1. “Smokes cigarettes,
2. Is overly clumsy,
3. Is overly clingy,
4. Has a reputation for having hooked up with a lot of guys in the past,
5. Wants more from the hook-up/relationship than I do,
6. Doesn’t trust me or is always jealous,
7. Has dated one of my close friends,
8. Is too controlling in the relationship,
9. I stop being attracted to (physically and/or personality-wise),
10. Has bad dental hygiene.”
– sophomore
1. “Isn’t interesting,
2. Doesn’t get my humor,
3. Doesn’t find me interesting,
4. Is obsessed with her friends,
5. Takes life too seriously,
6. Is obsessed with Facebook,
7. Isn’t named Jessie [note: this answer was not pressured by the interviewer!],
8. Can’t be outgoing with me,
9. Calls me ‘my love,’
10. Is an ugly b*tch.”
– junior
1. “Isn’t able to hold a conversation,
2. Smells bad,
3. Wants to read through my text messages,
4. Is clingy,
5. Gets worked up over nothing,
6. Gets too f*cked up,
7. Cheats,
8. Hangs all over other dudes,
9. Is bland / has no personality
10. Is bad in bed.”
– junior
1. “Uses her teeth during head,
2. Talks about wanting kids or marriage or something like that,
3. Smells bad,
4. Is clingy,
5. I hate girls who are b*tches. I normally don’t go for girls who seem b*tchy, even if they’re really hot, and even for a one-night thing.
6. Cheats or lies, hands down,
7. Doesn’t dress like a French maid and clean my room for me,
8. Does the New Jersey laugh (like in the TV show The Nanny),
9. Is too into cats or ‘puntables’ (little dogs) – but real dogs are awesome,
10. Talks sh*t about my friends, or tries to get in between me and them.”
– senior
1. “Cheats,
2. Has an STD,
3. She’s got to be for the boys;
4. Has bad breath,
5. Is very flirty with other guys,
6. Is a Facebook fanatic,
7. Talks just to hear her own voice,
8. Is hairy / unshaven – I mean her armpits, of course … ,
9. Is as dull as a f*ckin’ doornail,
10. Has bad teeth.”
– senior
* note: these answers are listed in no particular order
Next Page: She Said…
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She Guessed: His Top Ten Deal-Breakers Were … *
A girl who …
1. “Texts too much – is she overeager? desperate? or just annoying?
2. Texts too little – is she uninterested? boring? playing it a little too cool?
3. Flirts too much with other guys – jealousy is a strong force!
4. Is dramatic, makes little things into big things, and unleashes torrents of emotion onto him;
5. Doesn’t bring anything to the table – are you just like every other chick? Have opinions; say what you feel;
6. Is clingy, like if you see him at a party and immediately tack onto him he will feel stifled, and maybe a little annoyed;
7. Is too easy – guys like a chase sometimes, so once they know that they definitely have something, they can lose interest;
8. Plays too hard-to-get – lets face it, he won’t chase you forever;
9. Is prohibitively self-conscious – we all have our insecurities, but no one wants to like someone that can’t even like herself;
10. Can’t go with the flow.”
– sophomore
1. “Doesn’t trust you,
2. Is jealous – guys like it when you show that you’re a little jealous because it makes them feel wanted, but if you start getting too jealous he’ll feel like you’re trying to control him, or that you’re insecure;
3. Doesn’t take an interest in his interests – it makes him feel like you don’t really care about getting to know him;
4. Gets clingy – even if a guy is really into you, every guy needs his space sometimes;
5. Comes off as having low confidence – no guy wants to hang out with a girl who doesn’t even seem to like herself;
6. Doesn’t let the guy get to know her – if after a while he feels like he knows nothing about you, he’s likely going to get bored and lose interest (probably even it’s just a sporadic hook-up);
7. Tries to cover up her quirks/nerdy side – I feel like guys can tell when you’re not being real with them, and they don’t like it… plus a lot of them think little quirks are cute!;
8. This one is kind of obvious, but girls who cheat – even if you’re not in a relationship, hooking up with another guy (especially if they know each other) is a pretty big turn-off for most guys;
9. Smokes – I know a lot of guys who also think smoking is a HUGE turnoff, so don’t smoke! It makes hooking up with you gross’
10. Is too afraid to put herself out there – guys like when they can tell that a girl is into them, and they don’t like when they feel like a girl is acting uninterested or is playing hard-to-get.”
– junior
1. “Creates drama where there shouldn’t be, or makes a fuss over nothing – guys are more rational than we are;
2. Texts him too much,
3. Farts [laughs],
4. Is rumored to have cheated before,
5. Isn’t ‘put together in public (like if she looks like a slob every day) ,
6. Smokes,
7. Isn’t good in bed,
8. Talks about a relationship too seriously too soon,
9. Like has to know what you’re doing at all times; like if a girl becomes a watchdog;
10. Complains about everything and has no positive outlook on life.”
– junior
1. “Is clingy,
2. Has an STD,
3. Is or becomes an item with another guy,
4. Has been an item with one of his friends,
5. Wants more than he does,
6. Wants less than he does,
7. Has friends who he doesn’t like,
8. Is a tease,
9. Is too high-maintenance,
10. Smokes cigarettes.”
– senior
1. “Lies or cheats,
2. Is clingy or high maintenance,
3. Gets super drunk – especially if she gets beer tears;
4. Has annoying friends,
5. Doesn’t get along with the guy’s friends,
6. Has no sense of humor,
7. Is bad in bed,
8. Doesn’t trust the guy – unless he’s done something to merit it, in which case he should suck it up and deal with the consequences, and just be happy that she’s still with him!;
9. Is catty or talks trash / b****es too much;
10. Talks about ex-boyfriends / hook-ups.
Next Page: And so, what does this mean for YOU?
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Sorry ladies, but as it turns out, our ability to read men’s minds is a bit less powerful than we’d like to believe. While guys appear to be more concerned that their time spent with you is enjoyable, it seems as though many of our assumptions are based in our own dislikes and insecurities. Neither sex is very amenable to the idea of being cheated on, yet we Collegiettes are more concerned with things like over-texting than our male counterparts. (I don’t know about all of you, but as a self-proclaimed “texting fiend,” this is certainly a relief for me). Unfortunately, things like wanting more out of a relationship are generally based in intensifying emotions, which tend to be out of our control. But not to worry! As long as you maintain good hygiene, let your personality shine through, and stay honest, it seems as though the general Tufts male population will welcome you into the beds (oops – I mean, “their hearts”) with open arms.
Photos courtesy of: Tumblr.com, sodahead.com, scienceofrelationships.com, infinitynewsnetwork.com, thedoctorweighsin.com, twodaymag.com