Step in My Choos… The Morning After

After a night out, it is always a girls’ ritual to catch up and fill each other in on who got with who, how much was exactly spent on jagerbombs or tequila shots, and the occasional woe when one of us has lost our purse containing our favourite M.A.C or Barry M lipstick. However, each post-night out ritual is even more delicious when we get to discuss or find out who went home with whom, and not just went home for a ‘cuddle’ in bed.

One morning, post-Arena, head still pounding and last night’s eye make up crusty and still clinging on, my housemate begins to fill me in on a girl who has “been taking random guys home every week”, and then goes on to term this girl as a “slut”. However, she then mentions that said girl has recently been dumped by a long-term boyfriend. Once I heard the word ‘dumped’, everything changed. At that moment I realised just how easy it is for us on the outside to judge and label certain girls as ‘sluts’ or ‘whores’, yet at the same time, it is so important to remember we do not always understand or know why they may have acted as promiscuously as they have.

Once I heard this poor girl had recently been dumped, I felt such compassion and anger. Unfortunately, I too have been labelled as a ‘slut’ during my post-break up days. Yet the bare truth is when you have been rejected by someone who you thought would never let you down, someone you loved and shared memories and experiences with, all you want is to feel wanted and loved in order to dull the heartache, dry the tears and reduce the intake of pint tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Regrettably, when waking the morning after a one-night fling, often the end result only fills you with guilt and regret.

However, when someone is hurting they need to deal with their pain and heartache in their own way, even if it isn’t the ‘right’ way to get over break-up. Nevertheless, this does not make them a ‘slut’, just simply a girl who is mourning the loss of a love. Ironically, a one night fling that I had last year lead to a casual relationship of over three months, and although most flings lead to nothing, there is hope for some!

I have many regrets from my heartache days but ultimately life and love is all about making mistakes and learning from them, for what (or who) lies ahead in our future.

It’s well known that girls complain if a guy sleeps around, he is deemed a ‘lad’ by his fellow gender, yet if we do the same we label each other as ‘sluts’. We girls need to stick together and quit the labelling. If our friends have one night stands, or tend to ‘get around’, then we shouldn’t be putting them down. University is one of the prime times in our lives where we can have some fun, let loose, (work – really?!), and enjoy ourselves – one night stands and flings included.

So ladies (and gents if you’re reading), enjoy your life, drop the ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ labels and all of our lives will be much happier and hopefully we will become less self-conscious of our ‘number’. A little spontaneity here and there will either add to our university memories or university regrets – either way, both are good for the body, mind and soul! But remember, if you’ve decided to embark on a one-night fling, have fun but always do so safely and responsibly; make sure someone knows where and who you’re with.