Having a gaggle of guy friends can be both a privilege and punishment. Sure, it’s awesome to always have a date to events and someone to walk you home at night, but when they tell you things you don’t really want to hear it can be a bit annoying. Why can’t they for once not tell me what the true meaning of a guy taking a week to text me back really means? Maybe he did lose his cell phone. (Okay probably not.) Just last week I had a friend of mine tell me that my sexy wink looks like a nervous tic. I’ve had male friends compare my body type to a number two pencil and say my voice once resembled a door in much need of some WD-40. (Ok lie, that was a former boyfriend’s father, which made it that much more hurtful!) All in all though, I wouldn’t trade any of my hoodie wearing, belching and Mila Kunis worshipping friends for my very own army of skanks. (One can never reference Mean Girls too often.) Without my bros, how would I have ever discovered my love for the Black Keys, learned to never ever call a guy first after a date, and most of all how to jump chain link fence…in a dress!
This week’s installment of Sh*t Real College Guys Say includes five college mens’ opinions on Halloween costumes, people who play hard to get and their idea of a perfect date. Unlike the boys who contribute to magazines like Seventeen and Cosmopolitan, these are men who stay up till 2 AM watching television and spend all their money on snack food just like you. Who knows, you just might be sitting next to one of them in class, unless you go to an all girls school and/or are majoring in something that scares the entire male species. (Women’s Studies majors anyone? No, just me? Okay.) Editing this article was incredibly difficult, who knew men had such strong opinions on things such as who pays for a date and dressing provocatively while also hiding in the corner of a party? I had to make the decision of either cutting out 80 percent of what the guys said or have a longer than normal article. I chose the latter. So pop a bag of popcorn, put on some low background music and enjoy the second installment of Sh*t Real College Guys Say!!
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Fashion and Beauty: Slutty Halloween Costumes
I remember being a little girl with a sugar addiction who loved the holiday when she could dress up and knock on stranger’s door demanding for candy. Somewhere in high school though, the costumes started to change…it looked like these girls were wearing a costume more fit for their 8 year old selves. It wasn’t until I came to college and realized that men were doing this as well. My questions to you guys are these; when you see someone in a slutty Halloween costume….what do you think?! Do you find them attractive? Give them a round of applause for having self esteem high enough to let it all hang out? Lastly, is there a fine line between sexy and slutty, and if so what is it?
I shed a tear for society when I see a girl dressed in her knickers walking around in public. That’s someone’s daughter, man. Being the hypocrite that I am, I love to look though. I’d prefer to see a woman in a creative costume, who took time and effort to make it happen.You’re in college, use some creativity. If you’re going to dress like that though, don’t stay in the corner with your friends and not dance with any guy. You got every guy in there waiting to pounce on you, but if you got your group of wing girls protecting you. You’re evil.
-Victor, 22, Rant-asaurus Rex
I feel that Halloween is just a fun holiday all around and people should be able to let loose if they want to. This includes both men and women.If your expression happens to be revealing, then so be it! If you’re just looking for attention, nudity is a great way to do so. However, I really don’t think that it is too creative.True sexiness comes from personality. I mean sure, if someone has a great body and is flashing it around, I’m going to appreciate said body, but it really never goes beyond this.
-Jesse, 20, dorky DJ and music enthusiast
“ ‘Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.’ Yes, guys enjoy watching and quoting Mean Girls just as much as you ladies do. To be honest, I don’t really mind slutty Halloween costumes. Do what you want. Wear what you want. Be you. I don’t think a girl is a slut by what she wears. Actions speak louder than words, and in this case, louder than outfits. For the most part I feel like those who are against slutty Halloween costumes are people who are not comfortable wearing those types of outfits. Honestly though, people who wear real, scary costumes on Halloween are the best. They know what’s up.
– Jerry, 20, you are what you listen to
We’ve all seen the slutty nurse looking to do an oral check up on the next person handing out bags of Kit-Kats at midnight or the sorority girl missing the mid-section of her shirt, but where’s the originality? Sure, I’ll take my fair share of quick glances, but by no means is it worthy of a double take. All in all, dress slutty, I don’t care, just be creative about it. But if you’re going to feel offended when someone thinks you’re a slut, just know you had it coming.
-Aldin, 20, takes his time pouring milk into the cereal bowl
Every October I enjoy walking down the costume isles, looking for my mask, and seeing just how slutty and provocative the Dorothy and policewoman costumes are that year. The models wearing the costumes seem like they’re models by day and prostitutes by night. However, what aggravates me the most is that on Halloween night, the people who chose these outfits walk in a huddled group with their friends, as if they’re trying to conceal their unconcealed bodies! After spending forty or fifty dollars on a badly sewn stripper costume, the least they can do is not act like their parents forced them to wear it out.
-Alex, 20, a bit of a procrast…
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Love and Relationships: Playing Hard to Get
People play hard to get, I don’t know why they just do. Girls especially, but we’re not counting out guys. I’d like you guys to talk about how long is appropriate before making a relationship official, as in how long is too long to wait to be called someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend? What’s your opinion on people who bitch and moan about being single, yet never put themselves out there?
In regards to guys “playing hard to get”, I think 75% of the cases is that we’re too stupid to realize what is going on. People who bitch about single in college make me laugh. There are so many people out there willing to go on dates.. You’re obviously not looking hard enough. Also, girls/guys do not own you a damn thing if you guys are just “talking” They’re free to do whatever they want until you guys are “official”. Lock it down ASAP!!During midterms/finals week, getting her/him a cup of coffee/snack/meal can go a long way. Don’t stay to chat, just drop it off and disappear. That person will have that dumb little smile of hope for the next several hours of studying.We probably do not do it as often as we should, but talking on the phone is way more intimate than texting too.
-Victor
If someone honestly likes someone and has sincere feelings about them, they should be honest. Personally, I hate playing games about this. Generally, it’s either a way to hide insecurities (by being too afraid to be open and honest with the person you’re attracted to) or to gain power (by toying with someone’s emotions). I realized that it’s better to be turned down than to be dishonest and regret it later. Moving on, I don’t feel that there’s any time limits on when a relationship should be “official”.
-Jesse
People; guys, girls, genderqueer, etc., who play hard to get really bother me. I don’t understand the point of wasting someone’s time if you aren’t even going to do anything towards the end. I’m a busy person, stop wasting people’s time! This little game of cat and mouse gets old. The person who is being “teased” will eventually get over the fact that they are being played with and find someone else who will give them the time of day. People who play hard to get are attention wh*res who just want people to constantly be there for them. If you do play hard to get, please stop it. Stop wasting your time and the other person’s time as well. There’s no point to this.
-Jerry
When I’m looking for a serious relationship and have been dating a girl for quite some time, I like to analyze the events within a month to 2 month period before I make anything official. Weigh out the pros and cons, measure the circumference of her booty and ego, then call it a night. Get the results in the morning. Now, about them peeps who moan, groan, and bitch about being single, yet don’t do squat about it; shut the eff up, pick up your cojones, and go make it happen. Find some female “study buddies” in class, pick up on the lonely strays in the quad waiting for their next discussion to start, get a wingman to scout for you, or make an eHarmony account for Christ sake!
-Aldin
Guys, if he plays games with you then it’s not worth it at all. Reflect on how much time you’ve spent on your partner and how much time they spend on you. Analyze your partner, look for signs that tell you he’s interested in someone else (an ex perhaps?). And finally, ask them, get the truth out; don’t leave until you get a straight answer from them. If they get on the defensive and try to push back, or if they give you the same superficial answers, know that it’s time you leave and find someone who will actually appreciate and cherish you.
-Alex
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Guy’s Choice: Guy Approved Dates
It’s kind of obvious that men and women have very different opinions on what a perfect date is. Men want something relatively inexpensive, yet still memorable. Women on the other hand want to be swept off their feet, and to be left with a story worth telling later when they’re old and wrinkled. What’s your ideal date, how much is too much to spend on a date, and should women seriously stop being cheap and split the bill. How long do men usually wait to call after a date, and would you rather she called/texted you?
Ladies, if a guy spends more than an hour or two planning or preparing the events for a date, he REALLY REALLY REALLY likes you. Also, he has to pay. There’s no equality BS going round here. He pays. Don’t offer to pay. Second date, you can offer to go 50%, but not on the first date. A kiss on the first date is always nice, but not expected. A small kiss on the cheek right after that “mini-hug” as you are pulling away is perfect if you like the guy and want him to stay around, but want to make him work a little more for the kiss. A text saying “I had a great time.” about 10 minutes after he drops you off will make him skip to his loo and put him on Cloud 9. But do NOT call him. He calls you. You can text him, but do not call him. Make him take initiative. If he doesn’t contact you within 2-3 days, something is up. Either he doesn’t like you, something came up, playing games, or he’s taking out other girls too. Up to you to decide what to do after that, but it does not look good for the guy at all.
-Victor
I’m not sure what the perfect date is, but the best date I’ve ever been on was the simplest. We just went to a park after dark and laid out on blankets sharing a pack of cigarettes and talking about everything. The sprinklers turned on and soaked the both of us. Then we went somewhere else and stood shivering and talking until the sun came up. Sounds lame but it was the best time for both of us. We had planned to go see a movie, but we realized that we’d both much rather take advantage of each other’s company than to sit in silence while staring at a screen.If you can go out with someone and just hang out and talk (and listen) for hours, then I believe you’ve found a keeper, at least a platonic one. For me, if I want to call, I will. If she wants to call, she should. If I “scare someone off” by being myself, then it probably wouldn’t work out in the first place.
-Jesse
Before a date can start, usually the guy sets up a time and place. I prefer face to face communication so I would like to let her know in person.The perfect date, for me, would start by doing something active. I may not be the fittest guy out there, but I like the outdoors so a girl that can dig that is awesome! Walking around the beach, looking through the tidepools searching for some sea hares, and going into the water. Sounds good to me. Afterwards, we could go out to grab some food. I’m a simple guy, with simple needs, so all that fancy restaurant stuff is definitely not for me.So yeah, definitely take her to one of my favorite spots to eat a delicious meal. When it comes to paying the bill I honestly don’t mind paying it, but if she would like to pay half of it then I’m cool with that. Now if we were dating for a long time already, I would love to be able to spend a night indoors and watch horror movies. Those are my favorite types of movies, so a girl that can not only tolerate them, but enjoy them as much as I do, is a keeper!
-Jerry
Honestly, I don’t mind paying for the necessities of the “perfect date” so long as my FAFSA check allows me to do so. Just kidding, but in all seriousness, it doesn’t hurt for a girl to at least tease me about paying. I’m not asking for you to pay it, my man-pride is too…proud, but at least try to take the check away from me or feed me those lies about how you don’t mind paying for yourself. A guy’s wallet has feelings too. If we go to McDonald’s or Burger King or anyone of those main fast food restaurants, you don’t always have to get the Fish Fillet with the large fries and the extra ranch dressing dip. Those things cost 35 cents extra, you know?! And if the date went well and I was digging the vibes and connection, I’ll let the girl know right there and then before we go our separate ways that I’d like to do it again some time.
-Aldin
Ninety-five percent of the date is based on conversation alone, the other five is mixed with mannerisms, looks etc. No woman, or man should think that taking someone to a fancy restaurant will help make up for bad conversation. A good rule of thumb is planning ahead and checking the prices on the menu. Most restaurants have a website where their menus is readily available as a PDF or on the website itself; this is also gives you the opportunity to look at the food and plan out your meal and what you might recommend to your date if they’re indecisive. As for the afterwards, reassure them you had a fun night, bid them a good night, and wait at least two days to ask them on a second date (only do something different and set it up for the following week, don’t be too eager). If they offer to pay this time around, let them, if they don’t that’s fine; remember, you’re the one asking them out on a second date, having them say yes is payment enough.
-Alex