Name: Henry Palmer
Year: Sophomore
Hometown: Manchester, MA
Majors: Political science and communications
Relationship Status: “I guess I’m single.”
Interests & Activities:
Surfing, basketball, snowboarding, lacrosse.
What do you look for in a girl?
A good, outgoing personality. Someone who wants to have fun.
What’s a deal breaker?
Being whiny.
Favorite pick-up line?
If you were a pirate would you put your parrot on this arm or this arm? (puts right arm around girl).
Future plans?
Keep having fun. Graduate and find a steady job, but most importantly, stay happy.
If you could be stranded on an aquaglide in Frenchman’s Creek with anyone, who would it be?
Probably my mentor, Prof. Irby, because he’s hilarious and I can’t think of a better companion. He tells great stories.
Boxers or briefs: Definitely boxers.
Celeb crush: Monica Lewinsky.
[pagebreak]
Name: Chris Laackman
Nickname: Laack City, Laack Daddy, Laaxman, Dale
Age: 19
Year: Freshman
Hometown: Wilmette, IL
Astrological Sign: Aries
Major/Minor: Business
Favorite Guilty Pleasure: Driving in a convertible
Favorite Movie: Fool’s Gold
Favorite pickup line: If you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be the McGorgeous
Favorite last night food in Iowa City: Pita Pit
My friends make fun of me for… Everything
If I wasn’t playing lacrosse I would be… Bowling
The first thing I notice about a girl (be honest) is.. Her eyes
On my first date, I took the girl to… Whitey’s
I’m completely terrified of… Vampires
If I could have a bromance with any celebrity it would be… Mark Wahlberg
What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who ask to mix the ingredients at Chipotle
When/why did you start playing lacrosse?
I started in fifth grade because my dad, Dale, played lacrosse at Michigan State
Which actor would play you in a movie about your life?
Owen Wilson
If you were a type of alcohol, what would you be and why?
Keystone Light, always smooth
[pagebreak]
Name: Nick Ginsberg
Hometown: New Haven, Connecticut
Year: 2014
Major: Computer Science and Economics
Relationship Status: Single
My perfect girl would be:
Someone fun to hang out with/talk to, cute, and who gets along with my friends
Celebrity Crush: Natalie Portman
Biggest pet peeve about girls:
When they change who they are depending on who they’re with, just be yourself!
Favorite Pick-Up Line:
I’ve never actually used it, but I’ve always been a fan of “Do you have a BandAid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.”
Where do you want to be in 15 years?
Probably doing something in technology or finance, but its really hard to say. I mean, 15 years ago I was 5, and I doubt 5 year old me would say anything close to what I am now.
Describe yourself in 3 words: Funny, spontaneous, loyal
[pagebreak]
Name: Jordan Ansell
Year: 2012
Hometown: Port Howard, The Falkland Islands
Relationship status: In Between Wives
Dorm: Off-Campus / Alfond Apartments
Major: Economics & Mixed Martial Arts
Favorite dining hall: Dunkin’ Donuts
Three things you can’t live without: The Snooze button, Teva ãsandles, and Pixar
Interests:
Huntin’ bucks and drivin’ trucks, collecting Conch shells, flexing, pumpkin carving, and conversing on the economic and political stability of sub-Sahara African countries.
Favorite movie:
Undoubtedly, G.I. Jane. It’s truly a blockbuster that anyone can jump on without the fear of falling.
Favorite song:
My instincts say the hot buttered verses of “Come My Lady” by Crazy Town but the spine tickling piano lines of Flight Facilities’ “Foreign Language” takes the crown.
Favorite professional athlete:
OJ Simpson
Favorite book:
I almost exclusively read “Sky Mall” but Bill Bryson’s In a Sunburned Country definitely knocked the wind out of me. Rarely does an author come along that has the verbal agility to smoothly enrapture the general masses and create a legion of unwavering followers.
What do you do on campus?
Whilst on campus, I enjoy being loudly opinionated about things I’m completely ignorant of, making awkward situations worse, and viscously call people out on their insecurities. My radio show, “Lions, Tigers, and Beats, Oh My!” also allows me to discover higher highs and lower lows more than ever before.
What’s one girl trend you don’t understand?
Besides young women’s desire to make it in the business world, I don’t understand the mentality that learning how to cook is somehow a bad thing, and the Rav4 trend that’s spreading like wild fire.
What do you look for in a girl?
First and foremost is intelligence, because if she doesn’t have that then she’s mine.
Other perks include: a Southern / British accent, a go-getter personality, great teeth (at least half a mouthful), and a taste for leather garments.
Lastly, if she’s a dog lover, I’ll jump on her like an Ethiopian on a McNugget.
What’s your favorite pick-up line?
If your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is New Years, can I visit you between the holidays?
It’s never failed.
What do girls like about you?
Hmm… maybe my morning spoon skills or inviting chest hair.
What’s your favorite quote?
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
-Ernest Hemingway
What’s your dream job?
Pardon my French, but I would drag my dick through a mile of broken class to become:
a) The first BBC anchor without a British accent
b) Host of The Playmate Hour on Playboy Radio
c) A Beekeeper
Despite these lofty dreams, I look forward to retirement more than anything.
What’s cooler than cool?
Backwards Kangol hats, Ferbies (or any form of digital pet), chairlift sex, the equatorial doldrums, and vibrating alarm clock induced “snorgasms”
What’s the first CD you ever bought?
TLC’s CrazySexyCool, which featured Waterfalls, was disturbingly enticing and pitch perfect. There was a two for $20 deal at FYE so I also bought Mystikal’s parental advisory album – unedited of course.
Write your memoir in 6 words…
Young enough not to know better, old enough not to care – was that 6?
What’s one piece of advice you would give to freshmen girls?
Expand the realm of possible, use your looks to get free drinks, and swallow……….. as many goldfish as you can on Dog Head.
What’s your most embarrassing moment?
You know I can’t answer that, but I’m not allowed back in Georgia anytime soon.
[pagebreak]
Name: Kyle Obermann
Birthday: March 17th
Relationship status: Single and ready to mingle
Year: Class of 2014
Hometown: Ausitn, TX
Ladies, the year is coming to an end. Though you may want to wait for your summer flings or even until next year for that relationship, this cutie is definitely worth getting to know!
Major: Probably something along the lines of a double major in Political Science and Environmental Studies, but I’m making no promises.
Favorite holiday: My birthday.
Favorite lift: (Is this supposed to say gift?) I’m partial to cash, but it’s so boring, so a plane ticket to New Zealand would be nice!
A girl looks prettiest when…
She smiles and her eyes twinkle with life. As far as what a twinkling-with-life eye looks like or how to make your eye twinkle with life, I’m not sure, but wow… it’ll blow a man away.
Favorite pick-up line:
I’ll take a tip from Taylor Swift, “It’s a love story, baby just say yes.”
Hobbies:
Photography, being outdoors, reading (which I have no time for), writing (which I also have no time for), and I’m still convinced that if I had the time and were alone with a box of Legos, something would go down.
Fav food:
Pastichio. It’s a type of Greek food..
Extra-curricular activities: SGA Senate, track and cross country, CERF, FCO
What do you think the most interesting thing about yourself is?
All my different interests. I love to do so many things and there is really no way for me to satisfy all my interests. I also have a lot of goals and ambitions, and I probably won’t be able to fulfill them all – I doubt I’ll be able to be a diplomat, famous movie actor, and National Geographic photographer in my life, but a man can dream. I have at least 60 good years ahead of me yet.
Favorite place to study:
If I’m only in a half-productive mood, then the Cage with friends. Otherwise, if I’m in a state of academic panic, the Science Library is pretty nice.
Blondes or brunettes:
Well, that would depend on the hair color of the girl I currently like.
Guilty pleasure:
Quoting Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Except ditch the “guilt” part.
Oceans or lakes:
Are you kidding? Oceans! Lakes are boring and small! Oceans have cool things like killer whales and volcanoes in them!
Call or text:
Text usually, but I can’t stand a long and complicated texting conversation. Then, for goodness sakes, just call me.
Favorite compliment:
“I like your eyebrows!” or “You look Greek!”
Dating deal breaker:
She dislikes being outdoors and nature. That just won’t do.
Biggest turn-offs:
No sense of humor, no sense of competition, and no sense of adventure. Or if she expects you to fight your way across Mordor for her and likes toying with your mind. Come on, give a guy some peace!
Turn on:
If she has a fierce passion for life, not exactly sure what that means, but man, it works.
Pet peeves:
Having no ability to loosen up and just act like a kid and being stuck to doing things the way they have always been done before.
Ideal date:
A sail boat cruise in the Greek Isles with no set agenda and just living life. Maybe do some photography or art while your at it and at night just star gazing or maybe a movie. Taylor Swift in the background at various key romantic intervals might be nice too.
Describe yourself in one word: Ambitious
Most unique quality:
I’ve seen a lot of the world and different types of people. I have a fierce appreciation for challenges and change, even if they seem hard at the time. My eyebrows are also a different color than my hair and I’m half Spartan… I think those last ones coolest of them all!
Most confusing thing about girls:
How they are romantic geniuses and know what a guy should do in every romantic situation. Sometimes it’s just incredible. But it’s also confusing when they expect us to always know what they want in those romantic situations like it’s obvious. It’s not that obvious for us more men, but we try!
Hottest outfit a girl can wear:
Sundresses. That’s all I have to say about that. She should wear smile a lot too, that’s really a winner. So a smiling, happy girl in a sundress in the sun. That’s a winner for sure.
Three things he can’t live without:
Adventure, dreams, and people.
What he wants Ole women to know:
Be confident about who you are, you have every reason to be!
[pagebreak]
Name: Oscar Rivera
Year: 4th
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Why philosophy?
Because I wanted to be able to contemplate the metaphysical implications of whenever I say, “Would you like fries with that?” But seriously, I’ve always been a very curious person and wanted to tackle ‘hard questions’, and since I’ve never been good at math, physics, or just any science in general, I settled for philosophy. It’s also pretty interesting.
Favorite philosopher and why?
While I don’t necessarily agree with everything these philosophers put forth, I would have to say my two favorites are Hume and Descartes; Hume for the very banal reason of him being sort of the foundation of Empiricism, and Descartes for his thoughts on mind-body dualism and its impact on future philosophical theories like Idealism.
Classic annoying question: What are you going to do with a Philosophy degree?
If I do pursue any kind of profession in the realm of philosophy, I think I would very much like to write or even become some sort of public figure; you know, just because I like to hear myself talk as much as possible.
If you were a philosopher, what would you wear as an outfit?
I’m a big fan of top hats and monocles, so I’ll go with that. Or, I would desperately try to look like Ryan Gosling in a suit…
Let’s say you compiled one of your philosophical theories into a book. What would the title be?
I suppose this a more serious question. I guess since one of my main interests is morality, I would like to write a book on morality; something with a scintillating title like A Philosophical Treatise on Morality.
What philosophical pick-up line would you use?
I only know a couple philosophically-oriented pick-up lines that only work if you know the theories behind them, but I think my favorite is (playing on ontological arguments): “You’re the greatest conceivable being, baby. I’m glad you exist.” And then I’d seductively wink.
Finally, why do we exist?
This really isn’t fair since this is such a complex question, but I’d have to say that we exist to live.
[pagebreak]
Name: Jordan Michelson
This week’s HC UPenn Campus Cutie is an accomplished wrestler with a taste for 19th century poetry. When he’s not busy preparing for tournaments, Jordan Michelson is putting his wit to good use as a writer for Classless, Penn’s student-produced sitcom. Keep reading to find out more about this frat boy who doubles as a true Renaissance man.
Age: 20
Birthday: September 15, 1991
Year: 2014
Speaks: English, Latin, and Italian (going to Venice this summer)
Major: PPE (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Relationship status: Single
Hometown: Needham, Massachusetts
Extracurriculars: Wrestling, Writing for Classless, Tutoring athletes in Econ 001
Most time-consuming aspect of your life at Penn: Definitely wrestling, probably more than sleeping.
Weekend plans: This week and the next I’ll be preparing for wrestling tournaments, but if not then I’m hanging out with my friends or heckling people from the steps of my house (the ATO fraternity house).
Perfect Spring Break: Somewhere very remote in the Bahamas.
Favorite sport: Wrestling, along with snowboarding and football.
Favorite music: I listen to a lot of Metric, Citizen Cope, Matisyahu, and MGMT.
Favorite TV shows: Psych, Community, and 30 Rock.
Favorite food: A chocolate chip Insomnia cookie, followed by fudge brownies.
Favorite restaurant on campus: Hummus or Greek Lady.
Dog or cat person: Dog person.
What is the first thing you notice about a girl?
How she walks—her posture if you will. I’ll notice if she walks confidently.
What do you find most appealing about girls at Penn?
You can have a conversation with them.
Perfect first date:
Light food, and doing something outside on a warm afternoon.
What do you look for in a girl?
Someone who’s outgoing, pretty, and assertive, in no particular order.
Do you believe in soul mates?
No, I think you can connect with a number of people.
Does true love last forever?
I don’t know, I’m only 20 years old.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I have no idea.
Favorite pick-up line:
I actually have many good pickup lines. Classless has a bunch, actually. “Do you have any Jew in you? Do you want some?” —“Nice shoes.” —“Does anybody know you’re here?”
Celebrity Crush: Jessica Alba.
Valentine’s Day plans:
I will be at the premier screening of the third episode of Classless.
Favorite quote:
It’s from a favorite 18th century poem, Thomas Gray’s “Ode on the Death of a Favourite Cat Drowned in a Tub Of Goldfishes: “What female heart can gold despise?/What cat’s averse to fish?”
Penn bucket list:
Writing a book,making it to wrestling nationals, and streaking down Locust Walk (preferably at night, of course).
[pagebreak]
Name: Kurt Cawley
Ladies, with numerous nominations, Kurt Cawley stormed the campus cutie trope this week with a vengeance. Meet this adorable junior, and see what he’s all about!
Year: 2013
Dorm: Dana
Major: American Studies
Favorite dining hall: Dana
Hometown: Hingham, MA
Relationship status: Taken, sorry ladies.
Three things you can’t live without: Family, friends, and God
Interests: Country music and hanging out with friends
Favorite movie: Mr. Deeds
Favorite song: “Don’t Blink” by Kenny Chesney
Favorite professional athlete: Tom Brady
Favorite book:The Great Gatsby
What do you do on campus?
Usually go to the library on weeknights. On weekends I just chill out. Pretty laid back. Don’t play any sports anymore so I focus on my studies.
What’s one girl trend you don’t understand?
Uggs.
What do you look for in a girl?
Nothing in particular. She has to be able to chill with me definitely. I tend to be a blonde guy.
What’s your best feature?
My 6-pack.
If you had to be handcuffed to one person at Colby for the rest of your life, who would it be and why?
John Channell. You never know when you’re going to need a Spanish translator.
What’s your favorite pick-up line?
Haha I use too many pick up lines on my girls back home, but I’d have to say “Did you buy or rent?……..those wings, you angel.”
What do girls like best about you?
Not too sure. I try to be nice to everyone.
If you could meet one celebrity, who would it be, and what would you say to them?
Definitely Kenny Chesney. Huge man crush, its absurd. Probably ask him why he’s so cool.
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
When people don’t treat you the way you treat them.
If you were a rapper, what would your street name be?
Jeez the mean streets of Hingham…. I’d say maybe “Beers Cawley.”
[pagebreak]
Name: Kevin Schubert
Age: 19
Major: Criminal Justice
Hometown: Voorhees, New Jersey
Hobbies: Making Videos, hanging with friends, Call of Duty
5 things I can’t live without: Friends, Family, Taylor Swift, my bed (I love to sleep), and running.
Where I see myself in 5 years: In the military, or hopefully working for the FBI.
Favorite foods: In-n-out burgers and pasta.
Favorite weekend activities: Going to the beach with friends, staying up to ridiculous morning hours then sleeping until nighttime.
Favorite place I’ve traveled to: Hawaii
Favorite pick-up line: Is your dad a baker, ‘cause your buns are fine!
Ideal date:
Well anyone knows that the first thing you do on a date has to be fun! So I would either take my date ice-skating, bowling, or something along those lines. It depends on the girl. Movies are always nice too, but sometimes one can get bored of movies if you don’t try doing other things on dates. The next step after working up an appetite is going to get food, so I would find a nice restaurant to go to, with a beautiful view. Finally, as all good dates should end, you either find yourself at the beach watching the sunset or on a hill looking up at the stars Either way you end up with some cuddling on a blanket with that special person, and you think how life couldn’t get any better.
Music: Taylor Swift, The Killers, The Offspring, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and blink-182.
Goal I have set for myself:
I have created a mission to meet Taylor Swift because I find her really inspirational and the type of celebrity who cares about her fans. She is a role model to millions of people and I find her personality reaIly special. That is why I want to meet her. I was inspired by “A hug from Taylor Swift” and created Operation 13, which is a way to help me accomplish my goal. Help me out please.
Sports: Soccer and running (cross country and track and field).
Most embarrassing moment:
I can honestly say I’ve never had an embarrassing moment. I’m pretty outgoing so things don’t tend to embarrass me.
[pagebreak]
Name: Andrew Wolschlag
Hometown: Cary, North Carolina
Major: Undecided
Relationship Status: Single
Favorite Food: I don’t discriminate, I love all food equally
Activities You’re Involved With: A-Team, Club Soccer, College Life
Dream Job: An ESPN Soccer Analyst
If you were an ice cream flavor, what would you be and why?
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, because I’m sweet and full of little surprises
Favorite Pickup Line:
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together”
Most attractive quality a girl can have?
Her sense of humor and her laugh
Best advice you can offer about love/dating?
Never take the ones you love for granted
What is your idea of a perfect date?
I’m always open to new things, so for me it’s not about where we go or what we do, as long as we both learn about each other and have a blast at the same time.
[pagebreak]
Name: Jon Laven
Birthday: April 10, 1990
Relationship status: Single and ready to mingle
Year: Junior
Hometown: Chanhassen, MN (Not Chaska)
Major: Math and Philosophy
Ladies, one month without a campus cutie? Hope plenty of you are still single because with all those men back on campus after Interim, Her Campus has a new cutie of the week!
Favorite holiday:
Well my favorite holiday is Christmas but that’s not funny…Are these supposed to be funny or serious? I’m a big fan of Santa Clause. Put that.
Best scent or perfume for girls:
I’m not an expert…
What he wears: American Eagle… but only occasionally.
A girl looks prettiest when…
She is happy.
Favorite pick-up line: “Do you have any raisins? No? Well then how about a date?”
Hobbies: Reading, yoga, hanging with friends.
Fav food: Are we talking nice food, or everyday food? I like ribs…but I love me some Peking Chicken from Leeann Chin.
Extra-curricular activities: GEAR, FCO, SGA…sitting on the floor of the library in front of the Hegel section. That counts as an extra-curricular, right? Oh, and intramural soccer.
What do you think the most interesting thing about yourself is?
That is hard to say….I don’t know. I like to think that I have some interesting views on religion. Or maybe my personality. Or maybe my eyes…haha, just kidding. I guess you’ll have to find out for yourself.
Favorite place to study: My house, for sure.
Blondes or brunettes: Either.
Guilty pleasure:
Listening to Taylor Swift. I identify with her lyrics…is that weird? Probably not. I feel like everyone does.
Oceans or lakes:
Lakes…well can I say both? I guess lakes. I love to water-ski.
Call or text: Text.
Favorite compliment: “I like talking to you.”
Dating deal breaker:
I don’t know. Obnoxious belching. Oh, and using the word ‘pee’. No guy ever wants to think about the fact that girls pee too. As far as I’m concerned, whenever a girl goes to the bathroom it is to do her hair. And if she is using the toilet, nothing but sunshine and daisies is coming out.
Biggest turn-offs:
Same as I just said… I think that is a complete list.
Turn on:
Well… lets be real, looks are important. But so is humor…And the ability to make good conversation. That’s really important. Probably the most important.
Pet peeves:
When people whine. It doesn’t upset me, but I laugh at people when they say that their life sucks, because that is ridiculous. You go to St. Olaf! You are one of the luckiest people in the world. Probably. Chances are your life isn’t that bad…I suppose it could be. But it probably isn’t.
Ideal date:
I don’t think it matters what you do, but who you are with. But it should probably include food. Food is always good.
Describe yourself in one word:
Happy?..or perhaps thoughtful. Shoot! Now I changed my answer. Clearly I was thinking about it. Yeah. I guess thoughtful. Go with that…but I like happy too.
Most unique quality:
Gosh. I have an endearing Minnesotan accent, but I guess that isn’t really a rarity on this campus.
Most confusing thing about girls:
I don’t know. I think that girls are pretty similar to guys. Sometimes some of them get more emotional. I’ll leave it at that.
Hottest outfit a girl can wear:
Jeans and a white t-shirt.
Three things he can’t live without:
Friends, cheesecake, and friends.
What he wants Ole women to know:
Be happy. I suppose you want something about me? Yeah… I don’t know. I love good conversations.
[pagebreak]
Name: Jason Buco
Jason leads all of the NESCAC baseball players in batting average (.480 as of 4/18/12) and is in the top five for both stolen bases (10) and homeruns (4). And he’s a freshman. If that’s not cute, I don’t know what is.
Year: 2015
Dorm: East
Major: Economics
Favorite dining hall: Dana
Hometown: Methuen, Ma
Relationship status: Single
Three things you can’t live without: Buff Chick, Music, Gatorade
Interests: Football, Baseball and drinking water.
Favorite movie: The Hangover
Favorite song: “Wolfpack Party” (the walkup song)
Favorite professional athlete: Brian Dawkins
Favorite book: The Great Gatsby
What do you do on campus?
Football in the fall, drinking lots of water during Jan Plan and baseball in the spring. Also, you can find me pretending to do homework on the first floor of the library.
What’s one girl trend you don’t understand?
Easily those weird beach hats (fedoras?) Oh and jean jackets. The jean jacket for girls is like the jorts for guys.
What do you look for in a girl?
I definitely look for a girl with a good sense of humor. If she’s not funny it can be awkward. I also look for the “real” factor. Not too nice and not too mean, a good balance. Lastly, if she’s athletic it’s always a bonus.
What’s your favorite pick-up line?
Ummm ya hi. Or. Hey what’s going on they call me “Bigplaybuco.”
What moment at Colby would you most want to hide from your kids?
I’m going to hide last weekend. I don’t think I was very nice.
If you had to be handcuffed to one person at Colby for the rest of your life, who would it be and why?
Gabe Salzer. Great guy, has some great insights on life.
If somebody wrote a biography about you, what should the title be?
“Bigplaybuco.”
What’s your ideal party theme, and what would you wear to it?
Let’s go with beach theme, and yes I would wear a bathing suit.
What’s the best thing that your mom does for you?
Hard to pick one, but waking up to Dunkin Donuts next to my bed is always nice.
What’s the worst thing about being a freshman boy? The best thing?
The worst thing is trying to convince sophomore girls that they’re not any cooler than I am. The best thing is making stupid mistakes that have nothing to do with being a freshman and then playing the “Oh well I am a freshman I didn’t know” card.
How did your first kiss go down?
Classic movie date, once I got the arm over the shoulder move in, I knew the future was looking bright.
What was your favorite childhood game to play?
For some reason I’m thinking of board games, and I know I could never say no to a game of chutes and ladders.
What’s your favorite study spot?
2nd floor of the Library.
Describe Colby in 1 word…
Highschool.
How excited are you to be campus cutie this week?
Secretly excited, but I’m a little disappointed about the quality of some of the members chosen before me (Connor Emmert). It kind of takes away from the campus cutie prestige.
[pagebreak]
Name: Chris Rocco
Year: 2014
Dorm: Williams
Major: English
Hometown: Roslyn Heights, NY
Relationship status: In a Relationship
Three things you can’t live without: Mayonnaise, Cats, and a toothbursh
Interests: Driving through car washes, Fist pumping, swiping people’s cards in Dana while pretending to be Pam, headphone raves, and finally playing the shake weight app on my phone.
Favorite dining hall: Iusually eat alone in the Williams common room.
Favorite movie: Johnny Tsunami…such a rags to riches story
Favorite song: Toss up between “Laffy Taffy” by D4L and “Play” by David Banner.
Favorite professional athlete: Brian Scalabrine
Favorite book: I don’t read books, only poetry. In that case, I’d have to say the Iliad.
What do you do on campus?
Hide ya kids, hide ya wife. I’m climbin’ in yo windows.
What’s one girl trend you don’t understand?
Cottage cheese at the salad bar.
What do you look for in a girl?
I’d like to say I tend look for a little bit of myself in a girl.
What’s your favorite pick-up line?
There are 206 bones in the human body. Do you want one more? Never worked, but dammit I’m persistent.
Which moment in your Colby career would you most want to hide from your kids?
E. All of the above.
If you had to be handcuffed to one person at Colby for the rest of your life, who would it be and why?
Ambrosia from the take four line.
Who would you want to play you in a film?
Squints from “The Sandlot.”
What’s something quirky about you?
The initial quirky thing about me is that there are two quirky things about me. One is that I rarely have to pay for female companionship.
What’s your ideal party theme, and what would you wear to it?
I’ve always wanted a robot party. Something about the thought of wearing tinfoil tickles my fancy.
What’s one piece of advice you would give to freshmen girls?
Don’t play with your food.
How did your first kiss go down?
I don’t kiss and tell.
Which member of the cast of “Mean Girls” would you be and why?
The gym teacher. Need I say more?
What would you do with $1,000,000?
I’d buy 767 shares of apple.
What keeps you going during finals week?
Ten minutes of Rocco time every day.
What are you most looking forward to about summer?
Getting rid of this god awful tan line.
Are you excited to be campus cutie this week?
Yes.