With only 4 days until my 20th birthday and nothing to do now that I’m home for summer I started thinking about the fact that in less than one week I will no longer be a teenager. As my 20th birthday gets closer and closer, I realize I was never really a teenager. I never donned aqua eyeshadow and still I am unaware of how to apply makeup. Actually, to this day I still don’t wear any makeup. Not because I’m against it, I just never really learned how to put the freaking stuff on. I somehow skipped those awkward angry years where I constantly argued with my parents; my sister did that enough for the both of us. Now that I think about it, I’ve been a teenager since I was six years old. Having a sister seven years older than me had me watching MTV and reading about how to kiss a boy in Cosmopolitan Magazine while the rest of my friends played house and watched Arthur. But like always, I digress.
With my birthday dangerously approaching, I started thinking about all the things I will no longer be able to get away with now that I’ll be 20. There just comes a point in your life when you have to accept the fact that boy bands are for teens who still don’t realize one of those band members will end up with some drug addiction, one of the members will actually make it in Hollywood, and most likely the cutest one is gay. But I will NEVER admit to the fact that Britney will not have another comeback, and Lindsay, pull it together. Us 90s babies are waiting for your next big hit over here!!
So while lying in bed in my Hello Kitty pajamas(13 or 93, I will never give these up), I’ve compiled a list of things I just have to come to terms with that I cannot get away with once I turn 20. Ugh, why did I ever wish to grow up? Yes, maybe some of these I should have given up when I was 12 or at the turn of the century, but in the words of Allie from the Notebook, “You are not going to tell me who to love,” or in this case what to do. Whatever, no article is complete without a romantic comedy reference. Sue me.
P.S. For my own vanity and since this article was inspired by my birthday(and boredom) each page will have either an actual picture from my birthday party or a few days before or after what should be a national holiday.
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1. Clear backpacks. So long are the days of easily finding my favorite gel pen. Apparently adults frown upon accessories that are clear and made of plastic. By the way, was I the only one who begged my mom to buy me the 50 pack of gel pens back in the day?
2. Body spray. Any body spray, especially Love Kiss by Victoria’s Secret just brings back memories from my high school gym class. It’s like those girls didn’t believe in deodorant, apparently they would rather have everyone choke on the scent of their nasty vanilla scented body spray. I guess it’s time to find my signature scent. Since my birthday is coming up, Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift…anyone? No? Okay then.
3. Best friends jewelry. If you and your so called BFF require two pieces of jewelry that fit into one another maybe you need to reevaluate your friendship…and your state of mind. Yes, they were cute and so cool back in the 7th grade, but why not trade in those plastic necklaces you most likely bought in the 6th grade at Limited Too and instead wear matching Tiffany’s lockets. If you can’t afford the real ones theres a ton of copycats online. You’re turning 20 not 40, it’s still okay to wear knock offs.
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4. Sketchers. These shoes were the epitome of me at 10 years old, and even then I still hated them. They were so bulky, awkward and just not stylish in my opinion. Yet I still see people wearing them in lecture. Ladies, if you buy your shoes from a brand that also sells shoes that light up when you walk you either are a stripper or still wearing Sketchers. Either way it’s time to move on.(Too harsh?)
5. Scrunchies, pigtails, crooked ponytails, skunk highlights. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. Like Carrie Bradshaw, no New York woman would be caught wearing a scrunchie. So let’s keep our standards high and throw those scrunchies out. I don’t care if Forever 21 thinks they’re back, don’t buy them!! No pigtails unless you’re camping and in that case you better not take any pictures you plan to post on Facebook. Crooked ponytails can only be pulled off in 90s sitcom. And if I have to see one more obvious pair of highlights on a girl who clearly does not have the complexion to have random chunks of blonde sprouting from her scalp I just might shoot myself.
6. Graphic tees. I was torn about whether to put this on the list or not but it was necessary. I think of high school and all I can picture is me wearing dark denim jeans and a graphic tee. Yes, some are really funny/cute/whatever but we’re 20 now, would it kill us to put on a blouse? I will miss you graphic tees that let everyone know I’m obsessed with Twilight at the moment.I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me.
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7. Sneaking into movies. Not only is this illegal, but I’ve realized the older you get the less likely authorities are to punish you by simply telling your parents. They rather just write you a ticket or take you to jail apparently.Yes it was fun sneaking into Transformers Dark Side of the Moon those 3 times(true story by the way), but with those jobs we should be getting soon and how easy it is to pirate a movie nowadays, what’s the point? Leave those shenanigans for those 12 year olds trying to get into that R rated film.
8. Having unsafe sex. I’m turning 20 not 16. There’s no hope of me getting a reality show no matter how big of a hit I honestly think it would be. Plus I’m Hispanic and don’t need to reinforce those stereotypes about my peeps. If you’re stupid enough to have unsafe sex at 20, you deserve to have sex, get pregnant and die(somebody please understand this reference). Anyways, Planned Parenthood has birth control for free or practically free and this is a magazine for college women. And the only thing college gives away for free more than pamphlets are condoms. So don’t be silly, wrap your willy.
9. Horrible photo editing. This may just be a rant but if you add some lame sticker to your photo or some other horrifically obvious editing I have 6 word for you, “You’re tacky and I hate you.” With so many cool and FREE photo editing softwares out there, why did you decide that adding the word cutie/hottie/angel was your best option? Do yourself and all your Facebook friends a favor, MySpace is dead, and so are the days where uploading 50 headshots of you with the word angel plastered in baby pink font was cute.
10. Wr1tin9 l1k di5. Oh god, where do I begin?! I never wrote like this, never ever! But I do know people who still do. Stop, just stop. Not only is it incredibly annoying, but I think so much less of you. If you’re text to me looks like a hieroglyphic, don’t bother texting me…ever again. Also, I may be all loose with my exclamation points but don’t caps lock me to death unless you want me to feel like you’re yelling at me. Unless it’s super amazing news or I did something to piss you off, relax, and turn off your freaking caps lock!
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Since this article is starting to feel like a bit of a downer let me quickly list 5 things I will never give up!
1. Fuzzy character pajamas, specifically Hello Kitty. Till death do us part.
2. My eating habits that are comparable to that of a 14 year old boy. What else am I supposed to eat while reminiscing about how much better the 90s were?
3. I still shop for earring at Claires and I refuse to stop. They are affordable and better quality than Forever 21! I don’t have to defend myself to you anyways.
4. Crumpling all my money and shoving it into my pocket. What’s the number of times I lost my wallet you may be wondering…never! That’s because I don’t have one, and no wallet means I don’t lose my wallet with all my money in it. When’s the last time someone lost their pants with all their money in the pockets? Never.
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5. Quick pop culture rant. Ready, set, GO! Britney Spears if forever the queen of pop! Lindsay Lohan will make a comeback. One Direction can suck it, they will never be the Backstreet Boys/NSync. I want the old Disney Channel back, and if The Lizzie McGuire Movie is on at 3 AM, you bet your bottom dollar I’m going to watch it.(True story.) I don’t have to defend my once love for the Spice Girls to this new generation. I miss the days where I wasn’t able to Facebook stalk my crushes. Cell phones just make it easier for my mom to keep track of me and I don’t appreciate that. I’m still waiting for Jurassic Park 3. And Tupac is alive.(Just kidding…or am I?)
So there it is, my list of ten things I must give up now that my teen years are over and 5 things I refuse to ever let go of. Apparently your twenties are supposed to be the best years of your life. That’s a lot of pressure to place on this next decade of my life if you ask me. On average, most people are married by 27, while all the same time graduating college, getting your first real place, finding a career, etc. I bet somewhere along the way I’ll adopt a ridiculous amount of foster animals, gain 10 pounds, cry about gaining ten pounds and move somewhere where according to my mom will be too far. Well, cheers to me being born. Maybe now that I’m in my twenties someone will finally give me my own show!! Don’t make me settle for becoming a YouTube star!! P.S. I still secretly have and wear that pin from my 5th birthday party.