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Intimate Partner Violence: The Ferris Wheel of Warning Signs

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Iowa chapter.

And so it begins, the truth behind Intimate Partner Violence. This topic is a sensitive and sadly, very common one among women our age. The college experience is supposed to be unforgettable, but for all positive reasons, right? We would like to hope so, but with one in four women experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime, there is bound to be a fork in the road somewhere down the line.
 
This is a two-part story, or guide – whatever you want to call it. This information will hopefully reach people who need help, or will stick in your mind if some day, you or your friend needs help, support or just a shoulder to cry on.
 
Think of a relationship as a scary Ferris wheel; so scary you know that if you make it to the top – you will come crashing down with momentum so out of control that you keep turning, and turning until someone gets hurt.
 
I hope that painted a clear picture in your head to get you thinking.
 
INTIMIDATION: Think about what intimidation does to a person. It makes one person feel superior, while making the other feel, well, the exact opposite. If someone is telling her “you can’t do this or I’ll do that” or simply a look that incites the same feelings as intimidation; it is not the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
 
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Ladies, this is where he’s picking out your flaws, pretty much anything he thinks will get a response out you – he’s going to say it. Know that none of what he is saying is true, and even if it is, someone who loves you, loves your flaws too.
 
ISOLATION: This is that time where he forbids you to go out with your friends, or tells you that your friends don’t care about you, or that oh so common one we hear in movies – “who do you love more, me or them?” or leaving you as a form of punishment, like you some how had him leaving you, coming to you.
 
BLAME: This is where the Ferris wheel is just about to begin its way to the spot you have feared since you decided to hop on board the “power and control wheel of torture.” This is where he has you thinking this Ferris wheel ride was your idea – and fault

Hopefully these warning signs have helped you learn more about preventing intimate partner violence.
 
If this information has helped you in any way, follow Hawkeyes Against Dating Violence on Facebook and Twitter! If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these warning signs, do not hesitate to reach out and help, call someone and use your resources!
 

Sources:  

Hello Beautiful

Care Lodge 

 

Emily is a junior at the University of Iowa and is studying Journalism and Pre-Law with a minor in Health Communication. She has been a part of the Her Campus University of Iowa team since it was founded in 2010 and is a member of Ed on Campus. She has grown to love magazine writing and editing and if she somehow can't land her dream job (to be Carrie Bradshaw), she wouldn't mind settling for a job in the magazine industry. If nothing else, she hopes to attend law school somewhere in the Bay Area out West, her favorite place to be. Since the age of 15, Emily spent her summers in California, doing internships and falling in love with San Francisco. Some of her other interests include her 4-month-old longhaired wiener dog Henry, blogging, celebrity gossip, sushi, Private Practice, fro-yo, being a journalism nerd, and anything involving good conversation with good people. Although she's not exactly sure of her plans for the future, she knows journalism will somehow be the driving force in her career.