Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend just doesn’t seem capable of expressing love to you beyond the physical? Why compliments are few and far between but roses and chocolates are just around the corner? If these questions haunt your relationship then it’s time for you to make a trip to Barnes and Noble and pick up Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. Dr. Chapman, a marriage counselor, determined over the course of his career that people experience love in five different ways: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, and acts of service. Among these, the expression of love that is the most meaningful to you is called your love language, and, though you may appreciate the other expressions of love, only expressions made in your love language truly touch you. But first you have to figure out which language you speak.
Words of Affirmation: Your love language is words of affirmation if, more than anything, hearing your man tell you how good you look makes you feel loved. This love language goes beyond compliments, though; if you need encouragement and you prefer it in the form of words, then we have found your love language!
Quality Time: Do you love, more than anything, to sit down to a nice dinner, just you and your significant other, and talk? Could you do this for hours on end and be in pure bliss? If so, not only do you speak the love language of quality time, but you and I share the same love language!
Physical touch: This goes far beyond the hormone induced hook ups favored by college students, in fact, if the random hook up is something you are ok with, then physical touch probably not your love language. If your love language is physical touch any form of contact, whether it is holding hands or cuddling means the most to you. Remember, it is very likely that you enjoy all of the love languages but only one has the ability to “fill your love tank”, in the words of Dr. Chapman.
Receiving Gifts: Do you feel like he truly loves you when he gives you little gifts “just because”? If you had to choose between receiving a rose or a kiss and you easily decided on the flower, then your love language is receiving gifts.
Acts of Service: Does it make your heart flutter when he washes your car? Or when he takes out your trash? If so, then your love language is acts of service!
So why does knowing your love language matter? If you do not understand how you best experience love, then neither can he! More importantly, though, having knowledge of love languages helps you better understand that special someone and how to make them feel like an even more special someone. Try figuring out what his love language is and then catering to that, when he sees you expressing love for him, it will make him fall for you even more! If you want to learn more about love languages and how to identify and then cater to them, do yourself a favor and pick up Dr. Chapman’s book. Read it by yourself or with him and talk about what you learn. Then, get ready for the best relationship of your life!