The Super Girl’s Super Bowl Dictionary

This Sunday is the 46^th Super Bowl, and odds are most college girls will find themselves watching it a group of people, including guys.  For girls it’s a fun get- together with food, friends and the game.  But, why do some guys not like watching the Super Bowl with girls?

“I’d rather watch the Super Bowl with just guys,” said Nick Petro, a freshman at Northwestern. “ I feel like girls distract from the game, and I’d rather not explain things and just focus on the game with guys who care about it.”

So this Sunday don’t ask questions, already know what’s going on.  This no-fail, Super Girl Super Bowl Dictionary will give you a crash course on all things football and have you talking like Mike Ditka in no time.

THE DICTIONARY
            Here are the terms you need to know to pass yourself off as a football aficionado who also looks great in a mini-skirt. Listen closely to the announcers calling the game because they will tell you when these things happen.

Extra Point– After a team scores a touchdown; they get to kick an extra point.  This is where one guy, the kicker, tries to kick the ball through the yellow uprights (the U-shaped pole thing in the end-zone).  This is supposed to be an easy point, and most touchdowns should result in the team getting seven points. Just think about every time in Sex and the City  when you thought Carrie and Big were a for sure thing, and then they disappointed you by not getting together.

Field Goal – When a team is in scoring range on its fourth down and they don’t think they are close enough for a touchdown, they can kick a field goal for three points. It’s like you found the same awesome top, but its not on sale.

“First and Ten”–  The downs system, master this and you’re set for life.  A team in possession of the ball gets four downs to advance down the field. Whenever a team gets a first down, this means they just got four more downs and are closer to scoring.   A first down, or if the ball is at “first and ten”, is a good thing for your team if they have the ball.  If the other team has the ball and gets a first down, that is bad. At fourth down, the team either decides to “go for it” and try to get a touchdown, or they punt it to the other team. Teams punt because they don’t want to risk not getting a touchdown and having to give the other team the ball in place where they could easily score.  It’s like when you walk the long way to class where you won’t see anyone because you don’t look your cutest. It’s not scoring you any points with people, it’s just playing it safe.

 Fumble / Interception– These are very bad things if they happen when your team has the ball. A fumble means your time had the ball and they either dropped it or got it knocked out of their hands. This gives the other team an opportunity to get the ball. An interception means the quarterback tried to pass the ball to another player on your team, but a member of the other team caught it instead. Be very angry about this, pretend you found that awesome top on sale and some girl snatched it out of your hands.  However , if the other team loses the ball, that is great for you.
 
Important Penalties (you don’t want these called on your team)-
False start– a player on offense moves or flinches before the ball is snapped, costs the offense five yards.
Holding– player grabs hold of his opponent in an illegal manner.
Pass interference– defensive player obstructs receiver’s attempt to catch the football.
 
Kickoff-  To start both halves of the game and after every time a team scores, there is a kick off. The team that just scored kicks the ball downfield to the receiving team.  The receiving team tries to run the ball back to gain yards, and the kicking team then tries to tackle the player with the ball.

Touchdown – This is the big one ladies. If your team gets one, that’s really good. Pretend you just found an awesome top on sale for 50 percent off.  This means your team just got six points and possibly seven if they make the extra point. If the other team gets a touchdown, this is bad. Shout an expletive or look upset.  Teams get a touchdown by advancing the ball down the field and getting it into the end zone. Teams advance the ball by either taking the ball and running with it, or by the quarterback throwing it to player down the field.  Passing the ball can lead to greater yardage gains, going farther down the field, but it’s also riskier.