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When He’s Just Not That Into You…

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Suffolk chapter.

Stop living in denial and face the facts…

He’s just not that into you!

            Okay, so you meet the most perfect guy.  He has the best smile, looks so good, he’s really funny, and…well, just hot.  You are in the talking stage…you text non-stop for weeks and you’re hanging out a lot. He says all of the right things and you’re actually feeling as though you are sort of, almost, “seeing one another”.  After all, you laugh together all of the time and have so much in common.  The sweetest compliments are exchanged, secrets are shared, and he makes you feel like the prettiest and most special girl in the world. He talks about things he wants to do together weeks from now. You KNOW he’s looking at you in all the right ways (and all of the right places). He actually started calling you every day and you talk, joke, laugh, and text all night. You really feel like he is calling because he’s different from so many other guys. He likes to hear your voice and really wants to get to know you for you. This guy is seriously too good to be true! Can I be dreaming?  Does he really exist, and are those deep blue eyes for real? It is simply heaven! Or so it seems…. 
Then (gasp) it happens…the texts start to come further and further apart.  You haven’t seen him in days, and you haven’t heard from him. He does not call or text you to make plans. When you finally get him to hang out or talk, he’s distant; not silly; not flirtatious.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
            Because girls will always be girls, the natural thing to do, of course, is to analyze the entire situation; dissect each and every word last spoken together with our very best girlfriends.  The second natural mistake girls make is assume there are problems with his phone or cell service. Is he sick? Money problems? Maybe family issues?  Get back to reality and think before you these assumptions.

            The major thing girls continue to overlook is a plain and simple fact: If a guy wants to see you, he will make every effort to make it happen. No excuses or rescheduling.  If he wants to text or call, trust me, he will.  It’s never easy to tell ourselves that we are flat out getting denied.  We want this dream to last as long as it possibly can, because it feels so good and so right.
It is hard to accept, but when he seems to be disconnecting from you or is acting different…he is!  If you don’t hear from him, I assure you that he is not home with food poisoning, or busy stressing over the assignment from hell, or working extra hours, or dealing with his sick dog at the vet. Please do yourselves a favor and refrain from drawing elaborate conclusions.  Sorry ladies, it’s plain and simple:  he is just not that into you!  It happens to us all.  There are few true Prince Charmings in the world.

            Do NOT search for an excuse to call or contact him.  You cannot show the least bit that he has brought you down.  He’s spineless.  Hold onto your pride and move on!  Do not waste even one second on someone who does not think you are awesome, because you are.  You deserve better!  Focus your efforts on meeting someone new.  Keep your options open and never get too attached too soon, because it’s a huge possibility he’s just a player.
            Facts:  When a guy wants to be with you, he will be with you no matter what.  His priority will be making that very clear to you.  If he doesn’t continue to make you feel great and like you are moving forward in your relationship together, run for the hills.  He may just not be ready to form a relationship with anyone, or he’s already found his next girl.  He will most likely play the same game with her and move on when he finds someone new to play with.  You cannot change this, and neither can he.  Move on, and face reality.  It is harsh, but he is just not into you!

My name is Alexa Mellardo and I am currently a sophomore and Broadcast Journalism major at Suffolk University, located in the heart of one of the most charming cities in the world: Boston. A passionate journalist, I am fortunate to be doing what I love to do….writing! When I’m not composing articles for two awesome online publications (hercampus.com and also collegefashionista.com) and attending classes, I intern at a trendy magazine in the city. In between, I love to shop and spend time with my friends and my boyfriend. I have two addictions: shopping and cupcakes. In light of that, what better place to be than just blocks away from Newbury Street, Charles Street and Quincy Market? My quaint, vintage brownstone apartment in Beacon Hill is where my two best friends and I keep it strictly classy and fashionable. We turned our apartment into a comfy fashionable haven, and we enjoy relaxing and entertaining our friends. Living in such an awesome city provides a wealth of opportunity, fun, and culture to embrace. My dream is to one day be a respected, well-known broadcast journalist.
Originally from Connecticut, Erica attends Suffolk University in Boston, Massachusetts. She is a senior, majoring in public relations, and minoring in marketing. She founded Suffolk's chapter of Her Campus along with co-Campus Correspondent, Mackenzie Newcomb. has interned at a few start-up companies including Quincy Apparel and Good to Go Organics. She was also a public relations intern at Regan Communications Group, and is currently the advertising/marketing intern at The Improper Bostonian Magazine. Erica also works on Newbury Street at Jack Wills University Outfitters, a British clothing company that is expanding across America. She is very interested in the world of fashion, and hopes to make it big doing marketing/PR for a fashion magazine or as a publicist in New York City or LA upon graduation. In her free time, she enjoys shopping, hanging out with friends, going to the beach, reading, writing, and dancing.