Labels

Labels.  Are they good?  Are they bad?  Are they restrictive?  Or, are they clarifying? Usually, it seems that it is us girls, the clingy romantic types, that want the label.  We want to be sure that he isn’t hooking up with anyone else and playing us for a fool.  We want to know that he is ours and we are his.  We want to know what to refer to him as when our friends and family ask who he is.  The label is an easy way to answer many questions that come up on a daily basis.

What happens when he doesn’t want a label?  You now seem like the typical girl just described above, a girl who you most definitely are not.  So how do you handle this?  You could choose to break things off because you are not going to be in a labeled relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend.  On the other hand, you could continue to see the boy that you really like and be in a relationship without calling him your boyfriend.  As long as he acts like a boyfriend, i.e. is faithful, considerate, funny, takes you out, introduces you to his friends, meets your friends and family, etc. then there is no huge issue.  

Why are we so hung up on the title?  What does it change, other than what you refer to him as to your friends and family?  Most people believe that the title gives you all of the things that I’ve listed above. In reality, what matters most is how the boy acts towards you.  Open communication is also incredibly important in a relationship.  If you have laid down the rules with your man that you are exclusive then calling him your boyfriend won’t change if you are exclusive or not.  If he cheats as the boy that you are seeing, will you not be just as upset as if he cheats as your boyfriend?  The feelings will be the same towards this boy regardless of what you call him.

However, you do have an issue if he doesn’t want a label in order to appear single.  If he seems single, he can continue to flirt with other girls, and possibly hook up with them, without feeling guilty about it.  This boy has severe FOMO disease: Fear Of Missing Out.  He is afraid that if he gets “tied down” with someone, a.k.a. you, then something better just might come along.  What he doesn’t realize, is that he won’t truly miss you until you’ve gone.  This boy better realize how lucky he is to have you interested in him at all!  If he cannot grasp the gravity of the situation, then he doesn’t deserve your love and affection.

What happens when we don’t want the label and he does?  Now, you’re the heartless one.  Boys think that you are absolutely mad, the one girl on the face of the planet who doesn’t want a title.  What they do not think about is why.  Take the time to think about why you don’t want to be his “girlfriend” when you already act like it.  You’re afraid.  Calling him your boyfriend and being his girlfriend makes it real.  It solidifies the relationship that you two have.  Once you have something, there is a chance that it can be taken away.  You might believe that if it is not official, you will not get your heart broken.  The truth is, as I’ve stated earlier, the feelings will be there whether the label is there or not.  Your heart is just as easily broken.

I say, take the leap!  If the chance of getting your heart broken is the same, why not make your relationship official and get the positive benefits of having a “boyfriend?”  There is no point in fighting about the title of your relationship.  Embrace what the two of you have together.  Love the fact that he is so proud of you and wants to show you off to everyone as his official girlfriend.  You are his, and he wants everyone, translation: every guy, to know that you are taken and he is the lucky winner.

Generally speaking: Guys don’t want labels because they want to appear single.  Girls don’t want labels because they’re scared.  Either way you look at it, think about the reasons why the label isn’t wanted to gain insight into the relationship itself.