Confessions of a Gym Newbie

source: http://www.bucknell.edu/images/Depts/RecreationServices/KFFCSign.JPG

Exercising is not my forte.  It never has been and it never will be.  But the reality is that it is unavoidable; it needs to be done and I—reluctantly—acknowledge that.  Now, considering it is the New Year, I took advantage of such clean slate beginnings and made a resolution to exercise more often…well, to exercise in general.  So, here I am clad in the proper attire: sneakers, gym shorts, and sports bra, ready for action.

I timidly enter the Krebs Fitness Center and immediately feel like I’m the center of attention: a veritable gold fish in a fish bowl.  I pass the outwardly athletic students as they heave and thrust their arms running the next New York Marathon amidst a staring contest with newcomers like me.  I do not dare blink as I power walk away.  I scan the bottom floor one last time, debating what I should do for the next painful thirty minutes.  Running is out of the question, walking screams neophyte, and there are no empty ellipticals.  I scale the stairs to the second floor—practically panting already—praying to the gym gods that I not only look workout appropriate, but I can also successfully endure the next minutes of heart thumping pressure.  

Practically panting and already sweating, I convince myself that I am ready to feel the burn but mostly anxious to get this over with.  As my right foot steps onto level two, I am practically illuminated by a neon sign and several spotlights that flash on and off alerting every sweaty student that fresh meat has arrived.  If the marathon runners downstairs were not enough, the elliptical swinging and Stairmaster marching connoisseurs all turn their heads to give the newcomer a look over.  

I attempt an awkward grin, trying to appear as if I come here often: cool, calm, collected and ready for the upcoming sweat show.  My eyes gaze over the scene as I quickly come to realize that every single elliptical is occupied.  Every.  Single.  Elliptical.  One would conceive this idea as impossible, and that one, would be me.  But I guess those who frequent KLARC daily understand that four pm on a Tuesday afternoon is an inane time to attempt a workout.  

source: http://grfx.cstv.com/photos/schools/buck/galleries/Krebs_Family_Fitness_…

Finding an elliptical during prime hours—any hour for that matter—is practically unfeasible.  I stand there, in front of the lines of machines awkwardly intimidated by the masses of exercise junkies pumping their arms with lungs contracting and perspiration dripping.  I am blank as to what to do, unprepared for the inaccessibility; nothing that shiny new Asics and a perfect workout playlist can’t help me with.  In a state of awkwardness, I wander, busying myself by placing my goods in a cubby, earphones in my ears, and stretching.  As I stretch my legs, I bend over and attempt to understand the busy gym scene upside down: still no elliptical.  So I pace, more stretching: side-to-side, legs up, and…an elliptical is free.  

It only took ten minutes, not so bad in my book.  However, the reality is no amount of time can even compare to the spotlight awkwardness I experienced as I stretched slowly in front of rows and rows of power pedaling, stepping, and jogging.  It’s quite possible that Krebs could benefit from an investment of more machines, making even the prime hours an easy workout time.  Or one should just learn from his/her mistakes.  Lesson learned here for me, as I clearly do not control the money influx of Bucknell University, is that one should not go to KLARC during popular hours.  What I have discovered beyond my resolution day at the gym was that hours in the afternoon, starting at three until about six pm, and those early in the morning are quite busy for the gym.  And if you’re anything like me—a work out hater or simply novice with resolutions—avoid Krebs during those hours.  I can’t promise your workout will be pain free (or even slightly enjoyable) but you will score an elliptical easier and avert as much awkwardness as possible.  

Happy exercising…and good luck!