I’m not one to talk about complaining over twitter. I admit, my iPhone sometimes allows me to go over my tweeting limit with comments about random things. This mostly occurs when I’m out with friends and tweeting them about some inside joke or weird thing we saw that no one else will get…annoying to everyone, I’m aware. I should probably get one of those apps that make you do a puzzle or something before you can access your social networks. Anyway, as much as I can abuse social media, one particular type of abuse I steer clear from is complaining about real personal drama. It’s almost as annoying as those people who tell you their whole life story or schedule for the day. “GonNa Go 2 ThA baTHroOm thEn pEt My CaT, THen bUy SoME GrOceRIEz, then HiT up ThA MAlL Wit My GuRLz: @dierdre and @sparkleprincess, then CoCkSTails, then WHooO KnOWS!” Unfortunately, now I do kNoW, thanks to your annoying a$$ update that no one cares about.
There are a lot of articles about how to remain professional on twitter and Facebook, but this is one particular offense that deserves special attention, even if you don’t care about being “professional.” “Isn’t that what privacy settings are for?” you ask. Sure, you can block your Dad from your campout pictures or your Grandma Pearl from your Blowout keg race pictures (especially the one of you triumphantly holding up the empty keg above your head) but still, we all gotta’ few randos we’re friends with or who are following us (@bigb0i69, I’m lookin’ at you…ha totally kidding, I did not accept that request…maybe) who we don’t necessarily want looking at our stuff. We also don’t often think to block people from our status-updates, we forget about twitter followers, or even have non-protected twitter accounts where your tweet has the potential to be broadcasted to everyone. Do you even think about who’s reading your “You’re such a jerk for dumping me! Your new girl sucks and I’m better off without you!!!” tweet when you hit send? Because I’m reading it…I could be someone you met once and friended right after but never saw again. I could be your little sister’s friend in high school. I could be your old SAT tutor. I could be any rando you went to high school with. I could be all the people you don’t think about enough to block in your privacy settings because you probably forgot they even existed. Although I’m curious when I read these things, I have no idea what’s really going on in your life and I feel like I’m intruding in on my own news feed.
We all know break-ups suck and that fights with your family/friends are hard and we’ve all been there. Nevertheless, it’s still awkward and inappropriate when you broadcast it to a bunch of people you aren’t that close with. There are also personal issues that are extremely unique and private that we haven’t been through and that we aren’t comfortable reading about on a smart-phone or laptop screen. Talking about how someone cheated on you or how your sorority sister is such a b*tch, or how you think you should go to rehab for issues X, Y, Z, doesn’t seem to belong in words on twitter or Facebook. Sure, complaining about things is a form of humor on social media sites, and I’m a big fan of self-deprecating humor…to an EXTENT. When I read this, however: “OMG we have a date party this week and no one will go with me!!!!!! Great!! Guess I’m gonna be a single cat lady forever and ever #depressed #hateeveryone #lonelygirlproblems” I can’t help but think that even though I know it’s an exaggerated joke (do I?), this girl seems kinda crazy. Even though its not serious, its more sad than ha-ha funny because the person is probably thinking more like “aw its funny because its true.” Awkward. This type of tweet or Facebook status to your personal followers doesn’t come across as charming, self-deprecating humor because you aren’t an @sororityproblem…you’re an individual that people know, and you’re weirding them out. If you’re more on the serious side when you say things like: “Awesome, I’m glad every song on the radio reminds me of you and how much you screwed me over, drowning my sorrows in a bottle of wine!” It’s just a tiny bit inappropriate and probably uncomfortable for those scrolling through their feeds while they avoid eye contact with Twamps walking to class (not that I do that or anything…).
Also, you may think you’re avoiding all of this and being subtle when you re-tweet break-up quotes, or tweet/status update a song lyric that is clearly meant to convey a very specific message to a particular someone you know will see it. You’re not being subtle; you’re being a little passive aggressive and probably causing the opposite reaction of the one you’re hoping for. Need to vent? Want to talk about a serious issue and reach out for some help or advice? Need a good cry? Need to talk to people who have been through similar things or want or at least feel obligated to listen? YAY THAT’S WHAT REAL, IN-PERSON FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE FOR. Go find them and say all these things with real live speech instead of your fingers.
I know this article can come across as a little harsh but the truth hurts, and every one should be called out for things occasionally. Obviously, I’m not seriously saying that self-expression actually has word limit, or that people that do this are messed up, horrible people. Nor do I consider myself as someone at all equipped to give advice and I’m sure if I looked back through my tweets and Facebook updates that I’d be guilty of a TMI crime or two. It’s just something I’ve noticed recently while spending too much time on the Internet. We are all mildly self-obsessed sometimes and over sharing or assuming people care is part of our generation and culture. If you really want to pour your heart out on your newsfeed, do it. Just realize that people are reading it and might feel uncomfortable or even judge you unfairly. If you’re fine with that, after all, why should we care what people think, then go for it, press send or post or whatever. All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to think twice about who’s reading what we’re putting out there into the social media abyss and maybe save the personal stuff for our actual personal relationships (remember those?).