From late night talks to bonding over pizza in the caf, roommates can be great people to confide in. It’s just like living with your best friend, right? Not always. Not everyone is best friends with their roommate, and that is perfectly normal, especially for those going into a living situation blind.
Keeping a balance is key. Nobody wants a clingy, tag-along friend who can’t do anything by themselves. Spending too much time with any one person is bound to result in conflict. Make sure to hang out with other friends and live your college life how you want to live it. Involving your roomie is great, but make sure to get to know some other people you live around or that are in your classes too. On the other end of the spectrum, some roommates want as little to do with each other as possible. Sometimes she may see you only as the person she shares her room with at night. Remaining polite and respectful is key; it’s always uncomfortable to live in a tension-filled room.
Living with someone else requires compromise from both parties. Setting these ground rules at the beginning of the semester is the best way to establish what each roommate wants and expects out of the living arrangements. The Michigan State University Residence Hall Association (RHA) provides roommate contracts that cover the basic aspects and concerns of sharing a room. Using this contract or one similar is a really good starting point to address some issues. Going over subjects like sleep and study times, use of the each other’s property, and guests in the room are all important issues that should be tackled as soon as possible. If there is a disagreement on a subject, work out a compromise until both parties accept the result. Respecting your roommate and their property is a must in the close confines of the dorms.
If an issue comes up, the best thing to do is to talk to your roommate about it directly. Retaliating or talking about it with a friend won’t help the situation. Roommates can do some pretty crazy things, but gossiping behind their back only makes the situation worse and awkward for everybody involved. Pick a time when the two of you are alone and both free and bring up the subject in a non-accusatory way. If you start blaming her, she may become defensive and it will become harder to solve the problem at hand. Keep your cool, and remember to listen to her side of the story too before coming to any conclusions. If after talking it out the issue still remains, going to your R.A. for advice is a great option. Many will give you suggestions for solving the problem yourself and will even mediate a discussion between you and your roommate if necessary.
Rooming blind has many negative associations, but it often times works out better than the students initially thought. Going to college with your best friend from high school may seem like a party every night, but still has the potential for conflict. Choosing to room blind gives you the opportunity for a clean slate-nobody knows who you were or what you were like before coming to college. Nobody remembers that time in 10th grade where you slipped and fell in some ketchup in the middle of the lunchroom or got a black eye during gym class. Everyone is in the same boat, and they all want to make their college experience as enjoyable as possible. Many people make life-long friendships during their college years, and putting yourself out there is a great chance to meet some new friends.
“I roomed blind, and we’re best friends, it worked out great!” says MSU freshman Yoojin Chang.
Getting along with a roommate is all about compromise and communication. Freshman Lexi Nelson agrees. “I’m glad I went in blind. It helps me get to know more people I normally wouldn’t and helps me learn how to have compassion for people in situations different than mine,” she said.
Rooming blind is going to get a lot easier for the 2012-13 school year. A Facebook application called ‘RoomSync’ has students answer questions about their lifestyle and roommate preferences. It then matches students with others who have common interests and living styles. The goal for this application is to match students with roommates who have more in common with them, with hopes that it will make for a compatible match and successful year.