Each Chinese lesson in our textbook discusses some controversial topic, thought-provoking nonetheless. Last week, however, we were faced with quite an awkward subject, at least in China that is. Sex. Sexual relationships, pre-marital sex, sex protection, you know it! About two weeks ago, we had a chapter that was called “Condoms & Society Morality.” Seriously?! Having class discussion about our views on sex with our slightly more conservative then us (okay more than slightly) Chinese teacher was a joy! It was awkward silence after awkward silence, followed by curious glances by our teacher across the room. Throughout the week though, I learned some pretty interesting facts. Especially talking with my Chinese friends here, and hearing what they had to say on the matter, definitely helped my understanding during class time. The majority of students I’ve talked with here have shared that pre-marital sex is quite uncommon; when a couple knows they plan on getting married, pre-marital sex can be accepted. I have a hard time believing that the idea of a “hook up” exists. Although bars and clubs definitely include businessmen who take sexy dancers and performers home to sleep with, this version of prostitution doesn’t happen on campus. Those Shooter’s dance-floor make-outs just aren’t going to happen! A Cosmopolitan magazine on a newspaper stand would probably stay there.
Speaking of a “hook-up” culture that sounds all too familiar back home, students who weren’t in a relationship with someone wouldn’t even think to engage in, how do would you say it, pre-relationship sex? Remember when I wrote about my roommate’s little gathering on the campus grounds? Students were dared to touch their noses to each other, or just plain hug! Although I thought it was the cutest and more adorable thing ever, anything more than that would have just been wayyyy out of line. Of course, I can’t generalize all Chinese natives. My friends have said that China is becoming more and more Americanized, and thereby liberalized, influenced by American movies, celebrities, music, etc. I just don’t think I’m going to be seeing a Duke-esque Tailgate here anytime soon…
I also noticed a few interesting aspects of Chinese friendships. Whenever two women walked together, they always, and I mean ALWAYS link arms, or hold hands. It’s not abnormal, nor is it a reason to pass judgment. I wonder how people in American would react to two women walking and holding hands. All I know is that it’s not as accepted in America as it is here. My good friend LaaLaa (this is her English name, I know, beyond darling) says it’s more fun that way. Although same-sex students holding hands obviously doesn’t imply they are dating, those do exist here, to my pleasant surprise. I was quite thrilled to hear that most of my Chinese university friends are rather accepting of LGBTQ students and same-sex relationships. I’ve always gotten the vibe that LaaLaa is pretty popular in her friend group, and she is also bi-sexual. She’s really the best and I’m so grateful and happy that her friends think so too.
LaaLaa and I at Minority Village
I’m kicking myself right now for continuously forgetting to bring my camera when we go out at night. I’m the same way at Duke. The majority of my pictures in my iPhoto are my friends’, because I’m just so damn lazy! One weekend in particular, was quite entertaining. Ally’s host family took us out to dinner, and then to a karaoke bar afterwards. Let me tell you, this family was loaded! We arrived at this gorgeous fancy hotel and met up with her host family’s friends in a private room. Apparently, it was her host mom’s good friend’s birthday. And let me tell you, the wine just kept pouring, glass after glass after glass. In Chinese culture, it is custom for the hosts to toast each guest individually. While we were taking sips of wine though, many of the older experienced Chinese drinkers were taking shots of baijiu, a 56% hard alcohol. I honestly didn’t think there was anything worse than good ole’ Aristocrat, but I could sense the strong burning smell of alcohol two feet away! And some of these men took shot after shot. They were absolutely schwasty! One big jolly guy (who called himself the Chinese version of the word “boss”) probably took over 20 shots in total. It was damn impressive. And damn scary, once we thought about who would drive us…
As we were leaving, the restaurant was locking up. It was completely deserted of people except for the staff. I suppose these superstars just kept it open for themselves? Figuring out who would sit in whose car was a bit of a dilemma. There was no way in hell that I was sitting with “Boss” in his car. Unfortunately, Boss developed an affinity for my friend Chris. I guess Chris’s blond hair and green eyes really did it for him! Haha they loved Ally too. Chris ended up riding in Boss’s car to the karaoke place (his funeral!) and when we arrived at the club, Chris frantically blabbered that they had hit a taxi! It was just a little bump, he assured us, but the fact that they had just bumped it and drove away (probably on the wrong side of the road of course), is just madness!
This club was six stories high. We rode up to the 4th floor and found more of birthday boy’s friends in a smoke-filled fancy private karaoke room, complete with over 100 bottles of beer, shot glasses, a stage with two mics, two large video screens, and large couches and tables. That’s the style here. There aren’t any Shooters or Spanish Galleons with riding bulls and dancing cages, but only streets of karaoke clubs. If you could dance, well that’s awesome. If you could sing, well the spotlight was on you. We took turns singing Chinese songs with American songs, those that included Lady Gaga (they are obsessed with her here!), Justin Bieber (him too), and Britney Spears (classic). It was so incredibly entertaining and I had a lot of fun. I loved that we started to early too… what felt like it was 5am turned out to be only just hitting midnight. I could still get home and have a decent amount of rest!
Although I loved the change of scene from dancing to singing here China, I do have to admit that I miss dancing. Thankfully I got to fulfill that longing when I was in Beijing with my girlfriends, where dance clubs actually existed, but I still look forward to dancing weird and crazy with my friends back at Duke.
Unfortunately because I don’t have any pictures that capture this strange but amusing night out, the pictures in this week’s blog are just a random assortment of photos from China. I hope you find them to your liking!
This coming weekend is Thanksgiving, and we are getting a small vacation. I always have to remind myself that that is solely an American holiday. My roommate hasn’t even tried Turkey before, what a crime! I’m heading out to a different hotsprings with a girlfriend. It’ll only be the two of us. God I hope I don’t get my wallet stolen again… wish me luck! And until next time…
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Your Karaoke Superstar,
JWOO
At the 2008 Beijing Olympic Stadium
Bikeriding in Dali
The Forbidden City