Do you remember the song “Father and Son” by Cat Stevens? I know, it’s very old and kind of cheesy. But nevertheless the lyrics are simply true and will probably always be:
“You’re still young, that’s your fault. There’s so much you have to do. Find a girl [or boy], settle down. If you want you can marry.”
We, as college students, could easily ad: Choose a major, study hard, find a job. Get my point?
If you still have no idea what I’m talking about, lucky you.
But if you are anything like me, then you too know these uncomfortable moments in the middle of the night, lying in bed all by yourself. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about all the expectations Cat Stevens sang about.
You are exhausted. You’re exhausted because you have to permanently be smart and charming. You have to socialize non-stop. You have to be strong every single, tiring day.
And you are afraid. You’re afraid of failing, afraid of being unemployed, and afraid of staying alone.
This isn’t talked about very often, I know. That’s because we always pretend to be so unrealistically self-confident. We pretend as if we don’t need anybody, as if we could handle all of it by ourselves. But deep down, we are still this little girl who is insecure and frightened of the world. We’re still that girl who needs someone to tell her to not be afraid; someone to tell her that things will turn out well.
Because, here’s the point: University is ought to prepare us for nothing less than our complete future. And that’s a whole lot of pressure.
Plus, what if we realize after two years that we made a mistake? That we chose the wrong major; that it’s too hard; that it’s just not what we really want to do. How can we ever know what’s the right way, the real deal?
Or even worse: what if we, after months or maybe years at university, still don’t have a single idea of what to do with our life. There’s a world of opportunities in front of us but it’s just too much. There are no points of orientation, nothing to hold on to.
What leads me to the third possible reason for feeling lost—it may sound simple—but sometimes, we just feel lonely.
I don’t try to say, that we’re all some kind of outcasts who have no social life and only leave their dorm to attend classes. I mean, we have friends; we go to parties; we are basically surrounded by people 24/7.
But though, having friends, even having a boyfriend, can’t keep us from feeling lonely. There will always be this really annoying insecurity, asking: Do the people we care about really feel the same about us? Will they still be here in a month? And where are they a night, when we’re alone in the dark, feeling like the only person on earth?
I guess there’s always something we could do to make us feel better. We could make a list of all the things we love, of all our dreams in life. Or we could make a list of everything we like about ourselves. And if we can’t find anything, let’s just ask our friends. After all, there must be a reason why they’re our friends, right?
Hopefully, this will calm us down a bit. Maybe. But it will not make the little, frightened girl in us go away. Because she’s a part of us. Feeling lonely and unsure is a part of us.
So, in the end, the best thing we can do is just to accept her, accept our own weakness. Because there’s nothing wrong about being weak – it’s human.
Editor: Samantha Sandler