Hi Andi,
I am perfectly fine with my friends drinking alcohol, but I choose not to drink. Sometimes when I got to parties, I feel awkward and when people offer me a drink, or ask why I am not drinking- I feel weird. I do other stuff besides go out to parties, but I still like to go to parties too. People annoy me and try to get me to drink. What can I do to get people off of my back?
Thinking not Drinking
Dear Thinking not Drinking,
Unfortunately, some people are immature about others and their choices. I think it is very respectable that you chose not to drink, and have so far stuck to that decision. Alcohol is a big part of college. Although we are all here to get a degree, when you gather up a group of young adults with minimal supervision; drinking will occur.
I will say first that I do not believe you owe those who bother you an explanation and they can mind their own business. I do, however, understand that you want to be outgoing and friendly to people. I cannot suggest much on how to not be annoyed-when you are sober around drunken people, sometimes it gets annoying.
If your main goal is to fly under the radar, I suggest you get a Solo cup at a party and just fill it with your favorite drink non-alcoholic drink such as water or soda. This way, you won’t stand out as much; you’re just another girl with a cup in her hand. If you go to a bar, order tonic water with a lime-this looks like a mixed drink.
Another idea to alleviate the annoyance is to make sure you’re not just standing against the wall. When someone is drunk, their judgment is off. Perhaps someone sees you standing there and offers you a drink because you look unhappy. While there intentions are good, they can still be very annoying; and trying to explain yourself to them when they are drinking is not easy. Be more social-dance, flirt, play beer pong (most people just use water in the cups)!
People are more social when they drink because intoxication helps take away pressures and insecurities; you are able to have this social effect without drinking. Think of it like this: everyone is more outgoing when drinking because if they embarrass themselves, the alcohol can be blamed, use this knowledge to get rid of your insecurities. Go up to someone and be outgoing, it won’t be awkward in their eyes because they’re impaired and on a social high; it’s only awkward if you let it be awkward! Plus, I have found that in my many nights being a designated driver, when I am sober, I am more of a smooth talker and am less awkward.
Lastly, bring a sober buddy along. Not all people in college drink, and in fact, more students chose not to drink, or not to drink often, than the media allows us to believe. Whether someone is a devout sober person as yourself, or if they just don’t feel like drinking that night-finding a sober person to go out with you is not hard. Talk to people and let them know you don’t drink; that’s one less person to bother at a party, and they may also not drink either! If you tag along with another sober person, you both can laugh at the effects of alcohol on other people and have a great time in general!
xoxo,
Andi