What makes you hot? What makes other women hot?
You probably just pictured silky hair, long legs, a tiny waist, or perhaps a woman with similar characteristics. Men, women, and society as a whole tell us that our appearance is what makes us hot, or sexually desirable. It’s hard to not believe the hype. Women are taught that our value is based on the way we look and our ability to attract men (even lesbians are expected to attract men!). Okay, I can’t ignore the fact that lots of guys are judged for the way they look and their ability to get a girl. But really, the pressure is so much greater for women. After all, which gender suffers more from eating disorders? Which gender spends more money on products to enhance their appearance? Overwhelmingly, and obviously, the answer is women.
What’s wrong with this? I like to look “hot” as much as the next girl. I wear supposedly “cute” shoes, spend hours looking for a perfect pair of (overpriced) jeans, and I try to keep my body looking at its best. Are these the things that make me hot, or sexy? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great if you want to dress up sometimes, and I think it’s very important to live a healthy lifestyle. However, I do NOT think that these are the traits we should value most about ourselves.
Let’s rethink a few words. Sexy. Hot. Attractive. Get your mind away from body parts. What is really sexy in a partner? How about a great sense of humor, or a nice smile? What about their ability to have an intellectually stimulating conversation, or to show compassion? Now think of what is sexy about yourself, besides the way you look. What do you love about who you are?
I love my sense of humor. I love that I am passionate about running, and about what I study (communication and gender, if you were guessing). I love that I can make other people feel comfortable in my presence. Be vain for a minute and reclaim what you love about yourself! These are the qualities that you should be proud of, first and foremost! Jessica Valenti and a few other people from feministing.com created a play off of Maxim’s Hot 100 called the REAL Hot 100, a list that features women who are hot for what they do, rather than for what they look like. Take a look at both lists, and decide which one you’d rather be on. My guess is that you’d rather be real!