#FreshmanFears: Getting Along With Your Roommate

Before college, we showered barefoot, blasted music from the radio while singing into invisible microphones, strolled into the kitchen for ready-made midnight snacks, and enjoyed the freedom to practice whatever weird shenanigans we wanted without fear of being seen or judged. Unfortunately, that eighteen-year (or so) honeymoon is over – we’re in college, and we live in dorm rooms… with roommates.

 
The relationship you build initially with your roommate truly sets the tone for your entire year. You may play a varsity or intra-mural sport, develop friendships with the DUC employees, take a walk (or walks) of shame from Eagle Row, attend the better-themed frat parties, order Wingnuts at 2 a.m., drink punch that was mixed in a garbage bag, or change your major three times. In fact, I hope you do all these things and more! But no matter what you do each day and night, you will always return to your room and your roommate. That is why, from the get-go, it is so important to establish a working relationship (not necessarily a friendship) with your roommate.
 
Lay Down the Law: Create House Rules
Not only should you discuss rules, you should write them down, sign them, and hang them up on the wall (or something along these lines). Talk about your…

 
Sleeping habits – Lights on or off? When is your “bedtime?”
Boys and/or girls sleeping over
Visitors (parents included!) and dorm room events
Cleanliness and cleaning responsibilities (like taking out the trash)
Noise level and music volume
Study preferences
Sharing of belongings… or not.
Social lifestyles, hobbies and interests
Schedules
Money, microwaves, mini-fridges
Space & privacy
 
Better Together: Spend Time with your Roommate*
Schedule a “date” with your roommate once a week. Here are some ideas:
 
Eat lunch together at the DUC of Cox Hall
Stroll around the lake in Lullwater

Swim/tan at the Clairmont Pool
Peruse the Farmer’s Market on Tuesday afternoons
Attend a concert or theatrical play on campus
Meet for coffee (at Einstein’s, Starbuck’s, or Octane)
Walk to the Village for a Falafal or some frozen yogurt
 
*Important: It’s perfectly OKAY if you and your roommate are not best friends. That’s actually very normal. But even if you and your roommate aren’t glued at the hip, you should make an effort to spend time together and get to know each other better.
 
Putting Up with the Little Things
Follow these steps to achieve sustained dorm room-sharing nirvana:

 
Step One:If you have a problem with your roommate, make sure your roommate is the first to hear about it! Rather than let your anger boil silently, communicate verbally (i.e. preferably NOT via sticky note or other potentially passive aggressive method) with your roommate.
 
Step Two:Recall the Golden Rule and follow it religiously!
 
Step Three:If you cannot come to an agreement or compromise, consider asking an R.A. to step in and act as a mediator for conversation. Arguments and disagreements are bound to happen, and when they do, take the right steps toward respectful and peaceful compromise.
 
As long as you approach the year together smartly (and follow our advice!), you’ll likely find that sharing a room is actually a fun and valuable experience. Good luck!