The Pressures of Husband Hunting

College is known as a time when we have the best years of our lives, discover our passions, and branch out in ways we never have before. But what many people don’t realize, or do, and just don’t admit it, is that many girls also feel college is a hunting ground for husbands. A time when every first date your mind is thinking could this be the one I spend my life with? And every time you realize the answer to this relentless question is “no,” your self-confidence and optimism wane. Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t that a lot of pressure to be on our shoulders at such a young age? Like there is some rule that, in these next four years, you have to meet the guy of your dreams, get married, and start charting ovulation cycles. As you go through college you’ll find yourself spending more time focusing on creating the perfect “wife material” image instead of just enjoying being you. And as that graduation day comes closer and you are still not anywhere closer to becoming a wife, your confidence fades. And when you look back on your college years your memories will be tarnished by a sense of lingering disappointment.

 
It’s not our fault that we sometimes feel this way. History is not on our side. My parents have been happily together since my mom was 19 and my dad 28 (nowadays this age difference would borderline pedophilia). If I were to follow in their footsteps that would mean I would currently be dating my future husband right now. Nowhere am I close to saying that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with someone. I can barely make that commitment to my dentist, let alone a boyfriend. There is so much more that I want to accomplish before I settle down into the married lifestyle. Not that there is anything wrong with wanting this now, but there is also nothing wrong with waiting. We have our whole lives ahead of us; we have so many obstacles and challenges to overcome, and accomplishments to be made.
 
And for those that feel pressure that the clock is ticking, you need to take a deep breath and realize that there is no rush. As baffling as this concept may be, your perfect man may exist outside of college. Come graduation day you will not only be accepting your diploma, but a life of loneliness and bingo games. And constantly feeling like you’re running out of time, may push you into the hands of the wrong guy, because you’re so desperate to find someone that you’ll find yourself compromising on many qualities you always wanted in a partner. Sometimes you may have to accept going to bed alone but keep in mind that this is not a permanent cycle-when you do find that amazing guy you will have the rest of your life to spoon away.

 
As Bob Dylan once wrote “The times they are a changin.” The time has long gone by when women were confined to having the only choice to be housewives. It’s amazing how far our gender has come; we now have the option to become independent, successful women, with or without a man. While some of us will never say we married our high school sweetheart, we can say that we went through all of these not so great guys to find the one that broke through our insecurities and fell in love with the real you. So be patient and never settle-happiness is out there, just maybe not on your college campus.