How To: Deliver an Unforgettable Maid of Honor Wedding Toast

Your time will eventually come, so why not gear up now?
 
Sweaty palms, fidgety posture, and an unsteady voice can only mean one thing as you nervously walk toward the microphone. The best man and maid of honor toasts are about to begin. You may be wondering, “How does the best man do it?” He strolls toward the front of the reception hall with a perfectly whitened smile and then casually removes the notes of his well-prepared speech from his inside tuxedo pocket. Of course his toast is humorous and compelling—no problem. The crowd applauds and triumphantly lifts their expensive Champagne in the air honoring the newly married couple. Can you compete with that?
 
While there may not be an exact cure to the nerves that make your heart race 10 beats too fast, here are practical tips to deliver a confident, yet witty toast. 
 
Get that Groundwork Going.  Unless you’re a smashing public speaker, standing in front of 300 guests and just ‘winging it’ will not get you the best maid of honor award.  A spur of the moment toast may seem like a good idea during the hellish weeks before the wedding, but the stress you will encounter at the reception is not worth it. Brainstorm and practice in front of a couple girlfriends in advance.
 
Booze and Breathe. You need to relax and sip on some of that liquid courage before your big maid of honor (MOH) debut. But don’t get too crazy; one drink is plenty to alleviate the butterflies. The audience wants to hear you, not some lush with hindered speech. As some of us have learned in yoga, inhale—hold for a minute—and exhale. Even though it is necessary to calm your nerves and muscles, I do not want to catch you practicing downward dog in the back of the reception hall.
 
Short and Sweet.  As MOH, it is your responsibility to keep tabs on the schedule and get the bride to the right place in a timely fashion. It is also your job to cut your speech down from the usual thirty minutes it takes you to tell a story. You don’t want to see your Grandpa snoozing in the front row or your boyfriend in the back waving his hands for you to wrap it up. A short toast is perfect—including just the right amount of sincerity and a significant detail of your friendship. Don’t drag on about how the two of you always got drunk together in college, but rather focus on the memories worth remembering. Maybe the two of you attend Pilates every week or have Sunday brunch twice a month to catch up on each other’s lives. It is always better to be heartfelt rather than long-winded. Get to the point, but express emotion while getting there.
 
Avoid Unnatural Habits.I know you may not have perfect posture like the women on “America’s Next Top Model,” but you need to now. With your spine perfectly aligned, hold the microphone in one hand, with the other nicely at your side. Avoid the terrible habits of twirling your hair, saying ‘like’ and ‘um’ in every other sentence and staring down at your notes sitting on the table. I promise if you do any of these things, you will not look classy or the least bit prepared. Speak clearly, hold eye contact, and do not fidget. After the hard part, lift your glass and toast the happy couple. Easy enough, right? All you brilliant MOH’s will be stars in no time!
 
End on a High Note. Of course there is the possibility that you spent the first five minutes of your toast fidgeting with the silverware on the table or your tone of voice was violently unsteady—but forget about it. As you recite your final words, do it with confidence. Once you’re finished, do not beat yourself up.  Even if you think you totally sucked, do not draw attention to yourself. Remember you are there to celebrate the bride and groom and either way, they appreciate your kind words.
 
The Finish Line.The moment has finally arrived where the six minutes of pain are through and you get to raise your glass and finish the toast with a “Cheers,” “Salute,” or “Congratulations.” Honor the bride and groom with a final blessing and you are on your way to the bouquet toss, dancing and open bar!
 
These 10 magical tips will not only deliver an entertaining and touching toast but will leave the bride and groom wanting more enchanting words from such a kickass maid of honor.