Keri Hilson knows a thing or two about confidence, and it’s time we take a lesson from her.
I know everyone’s had their fair share of self consciousness, embarrassment, or awkwardness. Bad hair days, bad outfit days, down-on-yourself days. Especially with spring break right around the corner, it’s easy to be disappointed with a not-so-perfect bod. But regularly standing in the mirror criticizing every “flaw” you think you see is just not ok by me anymore.
I’ve listened to too many smart, beautiful girls nitpick every detail of themselves until their confidence is shredded to pieces. Now I know that just saying, “Be confident!” and “Be yourself, everyone will love you!” is a lot easier said than done, so I’ve talked to some girls who’ve had, and still sometimes have, the same issues with ourselves that we all do, to try and figure out some tricks to getting you out of a down-on-yourself slump.
General Just-Feel-Like-Crap Day Fixes
You wake up, try on eight different outfits, and nothing looks good, not to mention your hair. I have these mornings all the time, when you feel like your day is just going to go down hill from there. The upside is, thereare ways to knock yourself out of the funk, it just takes a little energy and attitude. Here are some tips compiled from real girls who’ve been there:
*Make a list of tangible things you can do that day to change how you feel, like eating a healthy lunch or buying a better fitting pair of jeans, rather than losing five pounds. With a short-term plan, you have goals to look forward to that don’t seem so out of reach.
*Put on your favorite song. Listening to a great song can change your mood in an instant, so make it upbeat.
*On a good day, plan out one awesome, fail proof outfit and save it for a day when you’re not feeling quite so creative. Having a back up plan will save you from going through tons of options that can often leave you feeling hopeless.
*Exercise. I know it’s been said a thousand times, but if you know that getting to the gym, even for a short run, is something that gets your spirits up, for gosh sakes get your butt over there.
*One thing that you have to realize on days like these, is that no one feels perfect and wonderful 24/7, but it’s the times we feel lousy or don’t look quite our best that make the good days even better.
Dealing With Specific Insecurities
Sometimes it’s not just a bad day that gets you down, but a specific thing that you’re especially insecure about. These girls have had their fair share of the same situation, here’s how they deal with it:
*Own it. “I used to get red whenever I was in an uncomfortable situation and I would be self conscious about it, but now I sort of joke about it.”
*Never compare yourself to others. “I always felt awkward when I was younger, that I wasn’t as pretty or as smart as other girls, but I eventually learned to stop comparing myself to other people, and just focus on what makes me awesome. The main thing is to not try to impress anyone but you, and to not try to be anyone else but you.”
*Accept the compliments! “I used to be self conscious about my hair. I have naturally curly hair but I always used to wear it straight because that’s when I felt I looked my best. I guess as I’ve grown older and more into myself (I’m 21) I’ve become more comfortable with my curly hair. I wear it curly about half the week, sometimes all week! You just have to take that chance and accept what you were given. I’m a curly-haired blonde, which my hairdresser always tells me that ‘anyone would kill to have.’”
*Fix it (if you can). “[I was always self conscious about] my very crooked teeth. I quit complaining about it and became proactive. I did my research, did consultations with orthodontists and worked out a payment plan I could afford to get my teeth fixed. I’m 22 with orthodontic braces and couldn’t be happier.”
*Ask for help. If something’s bothering you, chances are other people are suffering as well. Don’t be afraid to ask friends how they deal with the problem. Just take is from Kim Kardashian’s recent tweet, “Does anyone know how to treat psoriasis?”
The Last Word
You can find all sorts of cheesy advice about how to feel better about yourself, but the most important thing is to find what works for you and do it. When it comes to your friends, don’t be an enabler. Don’t chime in when your friends start going off on what’s wrong with them because that’s how the cycle begins. And the best and easiest thing I’ve found to help yourself out, is to compliment others. Making other people feel good is going to make you feel just as great, and you’ll probably receive some confidence boosting comments in return.
Photo Credits:
http://hellosunshine.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/815806_girl_in_mirror.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2213/2278420220_0fb8f31b8a.jpg
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowldc/files/2011/02/compliment.jpg
http://www.last.fm/music/Keri+Hilson/+images/54258915