We are all brought up watching fairytales and dream of prince charming coming to sweep us off our feet. We grow up and inevitably get our hearts broken, and yet we still secretly hope for our prince to ride by on his white horse in his shiny armor and make our fairytale come true. Well, we’re probably going to be waiting for a very, very long time.
Clearly, the rules of love in modern-day college are different than our fairy tale visions. Needless to say, there were no frat parties or wild bar nights in Cinderella, nor was prince charming ever a girl. I conducted a survey to find out what “modern love” is all about in college. I received interesting results from 119 college students attending 13 different universities.
98 percent of those surveyed said they believed in love. But can you find it in college? We romantics search for love on every corner, but in reality, the majority of college students simply are not looking for love.
65 percent said they consider being single, being with different people all the time or having a fling as the best options for their time in college. A surprising 71 percent have been in less than two relationships during college. So why are college students avoiding love and relationships? One person said, “There’s plenty of time later in life to have a relationship. This is the last time in our lives we can be carefree.” Another said it’s simply more convenient schedule-wise to only have flings. Most agreed with these opinions, saying that college is the time to meet different people, have fun and avoid commitments (both emotional-wise and time-wise). Further supporting this, 51 percent of people have hooked up with over three people, and three percent have hooked up with over 20 people while in college! So if you come to college looking for Mr. Right, chances are he will be running in the opposite direction.
The female-to-male ratio here at UNC doesn’t help this situation at all. With 59 percent of our campus being females and only 41 percent males, the odds are not in our favor. One UNC male student wrote that because of this ratio, “Guys think it’s enough to text a girl at midnight on a weekend and expect her to want to hook up. There’s little dating and chivalry.” Other students mentioned how this college environment is conducive to cheating. When you are constantly meeting new people and partying, even the most solid relationships can fall apart. Thirteen percent said they’ve cheated on their significant others, and 18 percent said they’ve been cheated on during college.
Technology has additionally lessened notions of chivalry. Cinderella didn’t have Facebook to creep on her prince, and Romeo didn’t have a phone to call Juliet, so how has technology changed the rules of the game? Eighty-eight percent of people surveyed admitted to Facebook “creeping” on the people they’re interested in. I guess this means we better post nice photos because first impressions can happen without you even there.
Not only that, but I can personally say that Facebook has been the demise of many of my own relationships. Jealousy and arguments can spur over a single tagged photo or wall comment.
Beyond creeping, the relationship status on Facebook now puts pressure on potential couples to “label” their relationship. One student wrote that “you know which couples are together, just by checking their Facebook’s.”
Moreover, only 10 percent of people said they communicate with the person they are interested in face-to-face.
The other 90 percent rely on texting, phone calls and Facebook! This may be convenient for avoiding commitment, but it’s a sure way to kill the romance.Â
Moral of the story? If you are looking for love, college is probably not the place to find it. Sure there are still 35 percent of us who may prefer relationships, but with different relationship preferences and modern day technology, romance no longer resembles anything like what we read in story books.
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Sources:
http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/unc-2974/student-life
http://www.imagesdisney.com/cinderella.html
http://blog.informiv.com/2009/11/shakespeares-romeo-and-juliet/
Survey:
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dGI1ZTFVV195QW40d2xqMHJ…