The first thing that I have to do when I mention one-night stands is to define one. It’s a ”sexual encounter lasting only for a single night.” Now that may seem pretty obvious, but when people do hook-up for a single night, but then hook-up afterwards, then that changes to become something totally different.
Good.
Now we’ve got all of the formalities out of the way, it’s time to get down to the dirty business, kind of like a one-night stand.
When I was first asked to write about “A guy’s view of one-night stands and what they think about the girl after?” I thought “Um… they don’t think about the girl after.” Which isn’t mean, it’s just true. If two people go into a one-night stand, knowing that it’s only going to be one night, then why would he bother to think about the girl after? Except maybe, “That was pretty awesome.”
It’s only when two people go into a situation having different expectations that feelings are hurt. That’s the reason that some people get upset after a one-night stand turns into nothing, because the other person gets an emotional attachment and thinks that something more is going to happen.
To follow the normal gender roles/stereotypes, a girl would be the one who gets upset and seeks an emotional connection, which I can’t really argue with. The reason that the girl usually does the “walk of shame” after a one-night stand is because, well, guys really have no shame. Especially when it comes to this.
If a guy gets used and finds out about it later, its pretty much like the movie American Pie. Jason Biggs wakes up (the dude who does the pie) and his prom date is gone after they had sloppy/unsatisfying sex. He looks around, “I got used? … I GOT USED!” and is then very excited.
I could see high-fiving someone for that.
Only a certain kind of person has one-night stands regularly and they’re usually not as cool as Neil Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother, but it does happen to other people.
It happens.
Let’s face it, it usually happens when one or both people are drinking and they aren’t “all there” and they get a bit too excited. It just can get kind of dangerous and a bit sketchy about consent in the morning on occasion, and that’s where they become awful (and rape).
My main thoughts would be that if you want a relationship to happen, don’t have a one-night stand that you believe will magically turn into a relationship. Relationships don’t start in bed; they just make it there eventually.
So after I thought I was finished writing this stuff someone asked me, “Well, what do you really think about all this? Would you have a one-night stand?”
No. There’s no way I think I could be in a one-night stand personally. I’m not trying to put myself above anybody, I don’t think I’m “holier then thou” for not wanting to just hit it and quit it, I just think sex shouldn’t be so casual, and I’m not alone.
I’ve said this before; I just try to speak for everyone while I acknowledge that all guys are different.
Most of the time when I think of guys that regularly participate in one-night stands I think of guys who are pretty insecure. I think of guys who need to get laid so they have something to brag about to their bro friends the next day.
“Dude, someone touched my penis last night… and it wasn’t me!”
High-fives all around.
I could see myself high-fiving someone for that, too.
The thing is when I see a girl in a relationship with that kind of guy, a girl who has a one-night stand with a guy, I sometimes feel kind of bad. I always think that people can do better then someone who really just wants them for sex (guy or girl), but hey, some people are totally okay with that, and I try my best to not judge.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Iowa chapter.