The times have changed. “Roses are red, some diamonds are blue/ chivalry is dead but you’re still kinda cute,”—see, even Nelly Furtado has noticed. We no longer have the expectation of a guy greeting us at our door with flowers to pick us up for the first date. In fact, we’re hopeful to even receive a text message saying he’s outside.
While some old-time dating etiquette still remains, like guys holding the door for us, other manners have been lost throughout the years and are now merely legends. Over time, our generation has created a whole new set of dating myths. We’ve broken down some of the most popular dating myths of today that we think relate to college students like us. (Don’t worry—while we have expectations, we no longer expect the ordinary guy to pick us up in his hot car with a dozen long-stemmed roses, though we wouldn’t complain…)
MYTH #1: THE FIRST DATE HAS TO BE PERFECT
FALSE! Maybe the first date didn’t go as well as you hoped. He took you out for sushi – you don’t know how to use chopsticks, you couldn’t read the menu – tartare is raw… who knew?! Not to mention the blaring music in the trendy upscale restaurant he chose made it difficult to hear a single word he said (though you nodded and smiled the whole time). The point is, you didn’t make the impression you wanted to make, and now you’re freaking out that he’s not gonna call you back. Don’t fret, he was only looking for the good in you anyway – he wanted the date to go well, and in his eyes it probably did.
VERDICT: Everyone deserves second chances. A botched first date doesn’t necessarily equal done-zo. Send a follow-up text to let him know you had a good time and would like to see him again.
MYTH #2: GETTING TEXTS ALL DATE-LONG WILL MAKE YOU LOOK COOL.
FALSE! In fact it actually makes you look like you have only one friend – your BlackBerry. No matter how boring the date may get, you promised your full attention to this guy when you agreed to the date last week. Poking at your phone all night is just going to frustrate him and drive him away, no matter how many friends you convince him you have. He already thinks you’re great – that’s why he invited you on the date in the first place.
VERDICT: Nobody wants to talk to a brick wall or fight for your attention. Leave the phone on silent.
MYTH #3: YOUR INTELLIGENCE FREAKS HIM OUT – HE ONLY CARES ABOUT SPORTS AND BEER.
FALSE! And he’d probably be highly offended knowing you thought his only cares were sports and beer. Guys can enjoy stimulating conversations too (who knew?!), so testing his intelligence actually intrigues him. He doesn’t want to be on a date with a dingbat, and he definitely doesn’t want to take one home to his mom. In the chance that he does appear intimidated by your intelligence, think of it as weeding out the bad ones – there are plenty of (much more intelligent) fish in the sea.
VERDICT: Prove to him that you’re the total package. You can talk world issues, the latest Yankees game, or tell him about your family’s favorite vacation spot. Maybe you’ll even find some commonalities – securing a callback for another date next weekend.
MYTH #4: THE FIRST DATE REQUIRES YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST OUTFIT.
FALSE! Even if you are someone who enjoys getting dolled up, keep in mind it’s the first date – that little black dress and sky-high glittery Louboutins may overwhelm him (not to mention he has no idea the pain you’re going through to keep that dress intact and walk in those heels, and has probably never heard of Louboutins). So relax, pick out your favorite pair of jeans, a fun top, and cute flats, and prepare to look good (but not too glam) and have fun while doing it.
VERDICT: Your glam outfit shouldn’t distract you or him from the date itself. The Louboutins will have to wait (can you believe we just said that?). We love fun, comfortable flats, like these from Tory Burch, or these from Target.
MYTH #5: BEING 21 = COCKTAILS GALORE. BOTTOMS UP!
FALSE! Actually just the opposite – the older you get, the more binge drinking is frowned upon. Limit yourself to two drinks throughout the entire night – you won’t regret it. Don’t think of alcohol as a social lubricant. Downing too many cocktails early in the night will have you saying things you might not otherwise say, and doing things you might not otherwise do. Not to mention, your pricey drinks will quickly rack up the bill, and if he’s the one getting the tab that looks even less classy on your part. We’re not saying don’t enjoy a glass of Pinot Grigio if he’s drinking too, but please, limit your intake.
VERDICT: This is a date at a nice restaurant, not a pre-game at a fraternity house. When it comes to drinks, less is more.