This semester has only started, and I am already feeling the pressure of trying to keep up with my class assignments. Adding that with the struggle of keeping my GPA above a 3.2 to keep my scholarships, the struggle is VERY REAL. Every week seems like it is going by quickly only because of the amount of homework and online assignments that I have to be on top of; otherwise, the weekend does not feel like passing through the gates of Heaven. I feel like I always have seven to ten assignments, a handful of quizzes, and endless notes to get through by Friday. Last week was no different. Instead of enjoying the barely-changing Autumn colors of the trees and the shining sunlight like I should be around this time, I sit in my room and work on my assignments like it is my 8-to-5 job. I often skip breakfast, and I never did that before! My confidence for this semester is depleting as fast as a popped balloon. I am also pretty sure that my horrible eyesight is getting worse by looking at my laptop screen everyday—it is so horrible that I have to be a foot away from someone to just be able to see their eyes.
I would very much appreciate a mental breakdown to sob from the stress, but I feel like I need to hold it together for my family, who are really rooting for me and my younger sister this semester. We are a close family who talk about almost everything, as well as joke around and laugh at each other. They already worry about me and my sister being on a college campus during a pandemic, especially since so many young adults are contracting COVID-19 while on university and community campuses. They had a tough time dropping my sister and I off a few weeks ago, but we still try to talk to them every day. Lately, I have been video chatting them for a total of about 1 hour per day, while my sister hardly goes 3 hours without calling them. When she is not in her in-person classes, she stays in our room for most of the day, except during lunch and dinner. Meanwhile, I have in-person classes to attend, homework to catch up on, extracurricular activities, and internship and community hours to obtain. My sister has no problem conversing with my family for a longer period of time because she has more free time to do so, and I feel like I should make more of an effort to call more even with my schedule. My family understands that college life can get really busy, but I feel like a terrible daughter about not being able to call them more often. I love talking to them about my day because it kind of helps relieve a bit of the stress from my week, though not by much.
Overall, my mental health has taken one-too-many hits this month, and it has only been a month since school started. Can I get an “AMEN SIS!” if you think we should go straight to Winter Break?