Sadly, I have not had the best dating track record. In fact, all of the people I have been with were either manipulative, straight-up stalkers, were all talk over text but would not give me the time of day in person, or just strung me along without actually wanting a relationship. While the people and the dates all sucked, they taught me valuable life lessons, and now I can pass my wisdom to you.
- Get out of that toxic relationship as soon as you see red flags.
Once a red flag arises, do not dismiss it. With my first relationship, I kept ignoring the obvious toxic tendencies my ex was presenting and the relationship lasted way past its due date… For the sake of your sanity, do not do this. You will feel SO much better if you cut the tie once the relationship starts getting unbearable.
- Do not travel with someone you just started dating.
This is a pretty obvious one, but I have made this mistake before… Over the summer, my best friend and I thought it would be a great idea to go on a weekend getaway with these guys we were seeing for only three weeks. Boy, did this turn out bad. Lots of fights, tears, and unwanted drama unraveled… All in all, do not travel with someone that does not even know your favorite color yet. Those conversations should happen MONTHS before you travel together.
- If he is not texting you, odds are he is not interested.
I know it is a tough pill to swallow, but sugar coating why he is practically ghosting you will give you false hope. It is just better to be realistic in these situations. I am very guilty of trying to come up with scenarios as to why he’s not answering me. For example, “Maybe he just did not see my text,” or “He is probably thinking of a meaningful response to my question and that is why he is taking so long to answer.” Odds are… He just does not care.
- Friends-with-benefits scenarios rarely end well
I know that at the moment, starting a “no strings attached” scenario might seem thrilling and fun, but the aftermath is usually not. These relationships usually go one of two ways: You both start to develop actual feelings for each other or one person does and then the friendship goes up in flames or never fully recovers. From my experience, I never fully retrieved a close bond that I once had with a friend. In my opinion, risking a friendship is not worth it for a momentary impulse.
- Do not settle
I don’t know about you, but I have been in scenarios where I did not feel fully confident about someone but still settled. This is probably the stupidest thing you can do. If he does not check all of your boxes, you will eventually find someone who will, so don’t be with someone you are hesitant about. Also, the worst feeling ever is settling and then that person ends up pulling the trigger on the relationship in the end. Just save yourself the embarrassment.
- You do not need them
I have had moments where I felt dependent upon the person I was seeing and craved their attention. But the truth is… You were fine before you met them, therefore you do not need them. Also, do not give them the satisfaction of knowing they have you at the palm of their hand.
In conclusion, you are doing these men a favor by entering their lives. Don’t let them dictate your happiness. I have let them, and boy do I regret it. I hope my wisdom has rubbed off on you and you can now take my advice and use it in the real world