So you transferred… Now what?
Transferring colleges is daunting no matter whether you hated the college you transferred from or liked the college you transferred from, as I did. Going from one environment to a completely new one and learning the ropes of an entirely different campus is a lot to digest. As a young individual it’s customary to change our minds, change what we want or where we want to be. It’s possible you may miss some friends from the school you transferred from and are hanging on to those relationships as well as the experiences you shared with them. It is completely normal to encounter these feelings but it is crucial to learn how to balance this so that you are able to assimilate into your new environment.
In order to fully immerse yourself in your new setting, be open to trying everything. This is definitely easier said than done. I know it is extremely nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and it always is, especially if you’re an introvert as I am. But it is important to take baby steps and expand your comfort zone. I say “expand your comfort zone,” and not “step outside your comfort zone,” because the latter seems extremely discouraging.
I learned the phrase “expand your comfort zone” during welcome week my freshman year at my first university. This phrase struck a chord with me because I like the idea of becoming comfortable with new and different things rather than afraid of the unknown and leaving your comfort zone behind. Adding things to your comfort zone that at one point may have been difficult and scary for you to do is an accomplishment in itself. The phrase makes things seem more achievable, limitless and full of possibilities. I implore you to follow this phrase throughout your college journey and life in general!
I found that by speaking to at least two people in each of your classes at the beginning of the semester, you will feel more comfortable seeing a friendly face each week and also having
someone to discuss assignments and study with. You never know when you might need help with an assignment or need to ask someone a question. Whether that’s “what was the homework again” or “could you help me answer this question, I’m lost,” it is always a good idea to ask for help and people like to feel useful. Through interactions about your class you may find commonalities that will assist in the development of a potential friendship!
Joining clubs that you are passionate about is another amazing way to get involved and meet new people. I know this is probably the most common piece of advice for college students but it is so true. What many tend to leave out when imparting this advice is that as a transfer student it might be a bit more difficult to make friends as people have already made memories during their first year of school that you were not a part of. I found that I wasn’t understanding freshman year inside jokes or some university specific lingo that my peers were talking about, so I sometimes felt like the odd ball out. However, I did not let that get me down. I decided to look at it this way, there are so many more memories to be had in the future, so do not dwell in the past. You have so much to offer and the right people will notice those special things about you. You will feel this click once you have found that friend or friends you want to talk to everyday and share everything with.
In the beginning of this year as I was moving out of my house, I found a book called, The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College, by Harlan Cohen which was a New York Times Bestseller. I flipped to the section where Cohen discussed transfer students and found this quote,
“Attention Transfer Students: You are smarter, more experienced, and wiser than the others. Get involved fast and give people time to know you. You are intimidating not because you’re older, but because you know more and have more life experience.”
English poet William Langland said, “Patience is a virtue.” Being a transfer student is hard and it does take patience but once you give it some time as well as a bit of tender, love and care, things will fall into place and you will start to have the experience you were waiting for, I promise you.
I’m so proud of you and you got this!