A lot has changed since last year, and I bet many of you can relate. Friendships, relationships, family, and school––those aspects of your life may be looking very different now than from 12 months ago. Things can happen which you never thought would happen to you in that timespan, and the most important thing to remember is that we all evolve and grow.
Some of us don’t even seem to recognize ourselves a year ago or fail to understand why we did the things we did. I, for one, can attribute that fact. When I remember how I used to be, I shake my head and go, “What was I thinking?” After a period of reflecting and recollecting, I have compiled a list of somewhat parental advice which I would tell myself a year ago.
1.Try to branch out more.
As a freshman in college during the COVID-19 pandemic, starting college was hard without knowing anyone. It was challenging to meet people and make friends, so I generally kept to myself and oftentimes I did feel lonely. The absence of a community of friends was stagnant. If I had talked to my dorm-mates more or made an effort to hang out with other people, I would have felt a little less isolated.
2. Don’t try to force things to happen.
I expected to experience great, crazy things in my first year of college. I wanted to go out every weekend and have fun and try a new thing “at least once.” Movies and culture have made FOMO (fear of missing out) impermeable in our adolescent brains. I forced friendships and habits that I normally would not take part in. Since my expectations were so high, when they were not met (which was often) I felt disappointed. I now realize that not going out every weekend and having a chill Friday night by yourself is perfectly normal and fine––you don’t have to live like you’re in the movies.
3. You’re not lazy—you just need a break.
Jumping in from 12 credits and then suddenly changing to 18 wore me out. I was burnt out every day. That, coupled with wanting to be perfect in every class and extracurricular I was taking part in, caused my mentality and motivation to stoop low. A period came where I just fell through with everything, and I blamed it on being lazy. No, that was not it. I was too burnt out to function anymore. I failed to realize that and further blamed myself for my poor performance. Take care of yourself and take a break once in a while. When you feel yourself start to get sick, or even mentally fatigued, treat yourself like you would treat a small child and make sure to be eating right, getting enough sleep, and surrounding yourself with good people.
4. Your worth isn’t dependent on other people, especially in relationships.
I spent too much of my time paying attention to my relationship and not spending enough quality time on myself. Outside of school, I didn’t take time to indulge in any of my passions, hobbies, or things I liked to do by myself like writing. I spent so much mental effort and energy on someone that I forgot to care of myself and do the things I was passionate about. Try to stay balanced in this area of your life. Of course, take time and effort to show your care to the ones you love, but don’t forget about yourself and how important it is to realize your own worth.
5. Don’t forget about your family.
Call your mom at least once a week. They care about you and I guarantee they are wondering how you are doing almost daily. I will leave this at that.
Take a moment to learn from my advice and mistakes, so hopefully, you can have a more enjoyable year ahead of you.