The pandemic hit when I was a month shy of turning 18. Lockdowns and online school brought about feelings of isolation and extreme loneliness. Therefore, on my 18th birthday, I decided to try online dating. Since then, I have used apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge on and off for about a year and a half.Â
During that time, I got the chance to talk to various kinds of people and even went on a few dates. However, dating apps have generally been unsuccessful for me.Â
Before I dive into the reasons why I quit online dating, I want to preface this by saying that it has been a positive experience for many individuals. A 2020 study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 57% of online daters have enjoyed their usage of these sites and apps. Even I have positive things to say about online dating. I have met some amazing people and even made a great friend off of these apps. I am simply stating my overall experience and reasons why I will no longer be participating in online dating.
At the end of the day, dating apps are businesses.
No matter what kind of cutesy language dating apps use to convey the message that they want to bring people together, they are still businesses that need to make money.Â
Most apps generate profits through running ads and enticing users to upgrade to monthly or yearly memberships with hefty fees. What do you think is the best way to go about this? That’s right, keeping users on the app! After all, if the majority of users found their person within a timely manner, these apps and sites would be out of business.Â
I learned important lessons but never achieved my goal.
From interacting with a diverse group of people, I learned many important lessons that I will take with me in the years to come. Through multiple instances of getting ghosted, I learned that not everyone will like you or is at the same stage of self-development as you, and that’s okay.Â
Despite enabling me to emotionally mature at a rapid rate, online dating never allowed me to achieve my main goal of entering a long-term relationship. In fact, many people on dating apps aren’t even looking for that! According to a study from September, 27% of young adults in the United States are simply looking for casual sex on dating apps.Â
Nothing Beats In-Person Connection
I have always preferred meeting people in real life as opposed to on the internet. This is because it makes it easier to pick up on body language which can indicate intentions and interest level. Additionally, meeting someone through a shared interest, such as a class, hobby or event already brings about some common ground between you two. On dating apps, you are essentially meeting up with a complete stranger.