As a freshman in college, I have spent some time reflecting on how I chose Bowling Green State University. As a local, there have always been two main college options presented to us: Bowling Green State University and the University of Toledo. Bowling Green, my hometown, has always been my option. I am majoring in Education, and BGSU is very well-known for its education program. It was set! I became a Falcon the day I was accepted.
In sharing this experience with my loved ones, I knew my best friend was having some trouble selecting a school. For her, it wasn’t as simple as going to the campus we passed by nearly every day. She is talented in the form of science and math, whereas my talents are put to good use in more literature-aligned fields. While BGSU was certainly an option, I knew something was tugging at her that it wasn’t the right option for her. So, she moved away to go to school…
… and man, I miss her so much.
It is very strange to go from seeing someone for 7 hours every weekday — our morning car rides and gossip sessions during lunch — to Snapchatting and calling on the phone whenever we can spare the time. This transition would be hard on anyone, but I believe it was especially hard because she was someone I had incorporated in my life so much to the point where my daily routine was severely impacted after she left. I don’t feel like I see enough people talking about how hard it is. It’s like a forced breakup.
Friendships, much like any other relationship, find their way into our hearts. The more that it hurts, I feel, proves that there is just that much love there. It is perfectly fine to accept how much it hurts, and it’s more than fine to allow yourself to grieve and mourn what there used to be. But, as time moves on, so do we. Being apart does not mean that any of that love went away, but that situations have altered how we have to show it and connect.
In going through a literal global pandemic, I don’t think any of us are new to the idea of having to find new ways to connect with our loved ones. But, even as some of the aspects of our lives are returning to “normal”, it has been especially difficult for me to cope with her just… not being here with me. At some points, it felt like all I could do was wish she was here with me.
Obviously, this isn’t a very good feeling to have. One thing I have found to be very important in a situation like this is to always communicate your feelings. If you are feeling like the friendship is becoming too distant or one-sided, bring it up! As things are changing and stress with school is at an all-time high, there is a chance that schedules just need to be talked about. Here are some other small tips that I have found throughout navigating the new aspects of our friendship:
Find out when you are on breaks to quickly send texts or call, or find time to meet up and spend time together. Video call has been very useful for me since our lives are changing rapidly and we may miss an update on a midnight hair-coloring extravaganza. The main component of staying close, even while being long-distance, is communication.