Have you ever wondered what is going on inside a guy’s brain? Me too. I assume it is the stereospecific things: sports, video games, booze and boobs. But what if there is more to it? I set out to figure out what exactly a guy wants in a girl by providing surveys to men about their particular interests in a girl. And because I am well aware that I do not speak for all women, I asked the ladies to fill out a counterpart questionnaire about what they think men want in a woman. Let’s just say, you’d be surprised how shallow women think men are and how deep men actually can be. The form can be accessed here for a reference to the questions asked.
1. The Barbie Effect
In hindsight, I think John F. Kennedy caused some misconceptions when he chose Marilyn Monroe over Jackie Kennedy. Girls are obsessed with the western idolization of the busty blonde with blue eyes. We are fully buying into the narrative that boys are surface level beings. But can you blame us? That is all we have seen from the media.
We have been bamboozled, ladies. Contrary to popular belief, boys don’t want a Barbie doll. Our survey results have shown that boys are mostly split between an average and an athletic body type. Who woulda thunk? And as for guys wanting blondes? Apparently blondes really don’t have more fun (no one is more disappointed about this than this author). The men that I talked to have eclectic tastes in hair color, as seen in the figure below (and one of them fully did not realize that brunette is brown for hair color):
And because I am dedicated to research, here is the breakdown for body shape, eye color, and length of hair just for grins.
I guess we owe men an apology for assuming that they only want one type of woman. I guess most guys do want only one kind of woman because they have a type… but guys have varying types is the point.
Let us all observe a moment of silence for the girls with hazel and gray eyes, who have the least amount of interest… This author is sighing hardcore right now because she has gray eyes. The sadness.
Basically, I made the right call growing my hair out. That is all I have to say about that.
So what does this tell us? We have been lied to. Repeatedly. The only consistent appearance standard is the blue eyes, which over 50% of the guys surveyed preferred. The only thing that the men and women can seem to agree on is that long hair is good and tons of makeup is not preferred. In short, Kate Hudson would not have gotten all the guys in this group to fall in love with her in ten days.
Let’s all be honest, we all think that boys are looking at the same thing when they first notice a girl. Boobs, butt and body shape. But what are they actually looking at? Responses included mostly her eyes, smile and hair. I know, it shocked me too. I have now realized that I should be a bit more conscious of my RBF if I am trying to attract male attention, which is going to turn out to be very exhausting in all honesty. The things I do for men…
But what about clothes? Is modest really hottest? Most girls think that boys prefer girls that dress more on the skanky side. I cannot say that I would disagree with that assessment, but apparently, I am wrong yet again. Shockingly, boys don’t care about clothing appearance. They just say that they prefer whatever makes the girl happy. In a world where hook up culture is becoming the norm, this is a breath of fresh air. Also, I think it may be a little cap, but moving on.
Rounding off the questions about appearance, I asked the boys about piercings and tattoos. Predictably, boys are not a fan of the “weird” facial piercings. These include but are not limited to the septum piercing (the bull-looking one), gum piercings, tongue and eyebrow piercings and lip rings. There was a small percentage that was cool with these piercings; overall, they were more conservative with piercings, but they are totally down with nose piercings and studs. But tattoos? The preference lies in the middle somewhere between a blank canvas and fully tatted. So what I am gathering here is don’t go overboard on the face piercings, but get that meaningful tattoo that you’ve wanted since high school. It’ll be a good talking point on a first date.
2. “No man wants a lippy woman.”
I can’t be the only one to have heard this advice. Ladies have been given these strict instructions from the start of time. But where is the fun in listening to people?
So we ladies think that boys want a confident woman with an outgoing attitude. And boys? Well, they completely agree! Boys said that they were looking for a fun girl that is outgoing with a good sense of humor. Honestly, boys are really obsessed with girls with a sense of humor from the results of this survey.
But what are the pet peeves? Some of the answers to this made me wonder who hurt these boys…like honestly, I was concerned. They hate the double standards, the lies, the controlling nature, the games and comparisons, the not trying. I really should’ve gotten emails for this survey so that I can check on these boys and give them links to therapists.
But what is most concerning is that these boys agreed on the same pet peeve despite the question being fill-in-the-blank. What is this most agreed upon pet peeve? Brace yourself: it is loud chewing. Rest in peace all the ladies that chew loudly. And what turns a boy off? Everything that turns a girl off really. Closed mindedness, being fake, being pushy, seeking attention through insecurities. It’s insane really. It’s almost like boys are human too! However, I did learn that most men do not know the meaning of the word disposition. The question with that word in it really confused some of them. Therefore, I am very concerned about the future generation and the lack of vocabulary in the current one.
But there is more! Ladies, take notes. Men want a clingy girl. Yes, you read that right. The survey showed that roughly 82% of men don’t mind clinginess to a certain extent. Even funnier, about 18% actually like clinginess. I am mystified. Like, seriously mystified. I talked to a guy friend to help clear up this misconception. From this one man’s point of view, I was told that guys like clinginess in the sense of a girl relying on them for support. A perfect example of this would be after a bad day, calling your boyfriend up and telling him what is wrong. I know… mystifying, right? And yes, I have attached proof because I would not believe what I am writing either.
So what I am learning from this is that I need to act more dependent and clinging on for attention than I have been and suddenly a boy will love me. This is why I do the hard research for you, dear readers.
3. “I want a girl that likes sports”
You guessed it. The next thing I asked boys about was if they want a girl with similar interests—and they said yes! Honestly, that result wasn’t too far outta left field. They just want a friend, and a prerequisite of friendship is having similar hobbies or interests or something. You can’t just talk about your nails all day and expect a relationship to blossom is my point. What are some of these interests? Music, spending time outside, food, movies, sports, books, concerts, video games, spending time with family. Some guys pointed out that there is also a point to be made about having some diversity, too. It makes conversation better because you get to try to understand what the other person likes.
So this leads to the inevitable question: how close am I supposed to be with the boys? We all know Saturdays are for the boys, but, like, am I supposed to be one of the boys? According to men, pretty darn close. Girls assumed that boys wanted their girlfriends to get along with the boys moderately well, while the boys averaged out to be pretty darn close to one of the boys. Strange? I thought so too. But maybe that makes sense. After all, if you’re one of the boys you can be clingy and insert yourself into Saturday nights. That would make for some great stories later… And here are the screenshots for proof:
So the last things I had to ask about were faith and politics because they are kind of necessary in a relationship. Girls tended towards saying that men cared about a woman’s faith and politics if it went over the top. Makes sense since we were taught all our lives to remain demure to get boys’ attention. The reality is that boys don’t care. Of course, there is a large percentage of guys that don’t like a woman going over the top with faith, but honestly, it depends on the type of connection the guy wants and if he is big on faith as well. But political affiliations? They could care less. And that is kind of refreshing.
4. The Intelligence Game
What I am realizing is that women really do think the worst in men. Why would I say that? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that girls think that men want a woman that is not intelligent with no drive because it will intimidate them. I understand where they are coming from. I really do. Let us consider every man I have matched with on Tinder that will immediately unmatch when I mention that I am going to medical school to become a surgeon. However, the boys say something different:
Over half of these men do not care who is more intelligent. The overall sentiment was that the girls they are interested in have to be able to carry on a conversation about something important. So basically, don’t talk about handbags or shoes the whole time. We can do that, right? When it came to drivenness, only two boys out of all the responses said that it depends on the level of drive in a woman. Everyone else said that they love a woman that knows her goals.
That means that to attract a quality guy, we are going to college for a degree, and not an MRS one, ladies.
5. The questions that were left unasked
Some things you can’t quantify in a survey no matter how hard you try. Honestly, the truth of the matter is that hook up culture and insecurities have eaten girls up so much that they see men as one dimensional creatures just looking at their boobs and butt and wanting them only for sex. But there actually are some diamonds in the rough.
I asked the boys at the end of the survey if I left anything out that they think would be important in finding a romantic partner. You know the trends on TikTok where the guys’ responses make you tear up a bit and restore your faith in humanity because they are so cute? Well, the boys came through again.
The boys said that I should have asked about chemistry and vibing with someone. A general idea for a lot of guys was that looking nice is definitely a plus, but being able to vibe and laugh was more important. They said that makeup doesn’t matter unless it makes you happy. The idea of communicating openly and efficiently makes boys more interested in a relationship— straightforward and honest communication to the point that a girl can call them out when they do something stupid. Okay, so maybe they weren’t all that sweet. But honestly, it was a nice sentiment.
Throughout this process, I have realized two things: media portrayals of stereotypes are grossly wrong and boys can be sweet when they want to be. My faith in humanity and dating culture has been sufficiently revitalized by the thoughts of these boys. I would like to add a special thank you to all the boys that filled out the survey and gave their honest opinions, the girls who confirmed what I thought was a general consensus on boys and one of my amazing best friends for commandeering most of the male responses for the article… I don’t know what I would do without you.