Caught up in all stress possible, we forget to nurture the most important relationships we have in our lives.
When overwhelmed, we may forget about the relationship we share with nature or with our family and friends. Sometimes it is the creative side in us, whatever it may be, that gets ignored. Other times, when new challenges or old and heavy memories loom above us like rainclouds, we might forget to nurture the relationship we have with ourselves. We may have a habit of fighting, worrying, or sitting still in numbness, straying further away from the vital relationships that are so important in building a life with balance.
It is natural for many of us to fall into defense mechanisms by focusing on achieving perfection, procrastinating, or indulging in other avoidant methods. The reason for this is that feelings may be too painful or sad to process. We may also feel unsafe or foreign with experiencing happiness or excitement. It seems to be a surprisingly common experience to feel threatened by joy and calmness, avoiding situations that would give us more to lose later on. It makes sense especially to people whose reality at some point growing up might have been filled with uncertainty or plain chaos.
One of the prickly points about getting back into nurturing these essential relationships is that it is ingrained in our society to ignore them. Certain areas of working life, education, politics, economy, entertainment, as well as social media, promote focusing on buying or grinding our way out of numbness. Often the algorithms pry on the curiosity of our brain to make us focused on superficiality or incoherent, hateful headlines. We may forget to think about our own values and the things that make us content. Many of us, at this point, have felt a sense of emptiness even in the company of the people we cherish the most. I think it is because it is easy to forget who we are, what we value, and what we love. All these relationships, with nature, the people we love, ourselves, and our agency in life, need nurturing and consideration, and just like delicate yet strong systems of the natural world, the tending of each of them creates inner support.
To start nurturing the relationships, you just need to begin again, somewhere. Taking time to meet with a friend without worrying about the next thing on the schedule. Cleaning up the space, little by little. Honestly writing and talking about our worries and dreams. Giving a call to a family member when we think about them at once. Going out of the house in the morning instead of the evening. Studying and complimenting ourselves on the progress. Opening a book and learning something about sea, forest, or space. Sitting with the uncomfortable feelings. Letting ourselves feel positive feelings. Letting ourselves cry and laugh without suppression, together with someone or on our own. Going to the library and finding encouragement through stories. Abandoning comparison. Just being. Starting to show who we are more, not only to others but to ourselves as well. Every once in a while stopping, seeing, and experiencing the world and its miracles as they are. Learning to live like that, with our hearts in our sleeves.