Sad girl autumn? Don’t know her. I’ve transitioned into the superior season of sad girl Christmas, and I’m fully entrenched in the spirit. The holiday rom-coms that feature devastating blowups and infuriating miscommunications are all queued up (no, I’m not thinking about the inevitable romantic reunions in each and every one, so don’t point them out), the sullen soundtrack of holiday heartbreak is set to repeat on Spotify, and my cider may or may not be spiked. Basically, I’m manifesting my own main character moment.
To fully embody the mindset of that heartbroken (or, perhaps, heartbreaking?) Hallmark heroine, I’ve pulled together ten sets of Christmas lyrics that would have made the most epic AIM away messages back in the day. Remember the days of trying desperately to tell you crush everything without ever saying a single word to them? Leaving your friends on read when they reach out to find out what is going on with you? It’s giving my 10th grade emo phase. So if I still had an AIM account, here’s what I’d be blasting out to my peers this holiday season in order to direct my own dramatic breakdown in the studio that exists solely within my brain. (But since I don’t and I can’t, I’ll just say that I can’t talk right now. I’m doing sad holiday sh*t.)