To All My Single Ladies

Finding yourself in singleness 

First, I must say, this article isn’t necessarily just for the single ladies but anyone who is looking to improve themselves. I think it’s essential to find yourself again, noting it can get lost in all the things and people we surround ourselves with. I’ve been on and still am on this journey of trying to enjoy being single and alone. I’ve been reading many books, including “How to be a BadAss,” by Jen Sincero, “How to be Single,” by John Kim, and many podcasts. Here are some things I’ve been doing and these you can do to enjoy this time alone. 

You have to get up!

I know this can be physically hard, but I don’t even mean physically–but mentally. You have to do these things to make yourself happy. If you’re lying in bed and thinking about things you can’t control, you will get nowhere. Trust me–I know–alone on a Friday night, crisp cold outside, the room full of silence… but sometimes you just have to reorganize your closet and put on a video from your never-ending Youtube watch-later list. You cannot progress if you aren’t moving. Those activity rings won’t move on your watch unless you get up. 

Take care of yourself; it’s attractive. 

If you aren’t taking care of yourself, how do you expect someone else to? Now there are many forms of self-care. It can be hygiene, shopping, health, etc. When you put yourself first and take care of yourself, people find that attractive. Not only is it beautiful for others, but while doing this for a while, you’ll find yourself more attractive. I notice when I’m genuinely taking care of myself is when I don’t feel the need to be liked/loved by anyone else. This joy that self-care will give you is just the star to finding joy in singleness. 

Restore your energy. 

I saw this quote on Instagram, “Chill alone. Mediate. Restore your energy.” This spoke to me because you can work on yourself when you’re alone. You have time to improve yourself and bring that restored energy to others. I also think being alone allows you to not put up with BS. Being content with yourself will only show you why you don’t need people that confuse you, distract you, and don’t bring you happiness. Here’s another good quote it says “You are not missing out on anything when you are busy working on your goals and dreams. Stay focused.” 

Date yourself. 

This one! Take yourself out, ladies and gentlemen! Save some extra money, and every month take yourself out. Go to target, get a pedicure, go to brunch, or, get a tripod and take some bomb pics. Use this time that you’re single to find out more about yourself. Be alone–it’s uncomfortable at first. If you are always comfortable, you are not growing! If you cannot take yourself out, reservation for 1, how do you expect someone to make a reservation for 2? 

Sometimes being single is boring, I know. But imagine being with the most genuine, positive, motivated, loving person… YOURSELF. Just like every part of life, there are ups and downs. This isn’t going to happen overnight, but you can start today. 

Find yourself in singleness. 

Xoxo Jas 

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