We’ve all learned to lower our expectations for the new year after COVID’s surprise appearance in 2020. Despite having low expectations, I was still met with an extremely tough “transition period” at the beginning of 2022.
What is a transition period? For me, a transition period is any chapter of your life where an event causes you to be emotionally distressed, takes a toll on your mental health, or forces you to face some sort of intense discomfort. This could be someone leaving your life, a major change in your environment, a feeling of disconnect from your community, or any circumstance where you feel a significant change in your life.
A couple of weeks into the new year, I was in a transition period. I was extremely emotionally distressed, and it definitely was one of the most confusing and conflicting moments of my life. While I’m only a couple of weeks into healing from this event, I want to share what helped me for anyone that might be in a transition period as well.
1. Give yourself time to feel everything.
Initially, I took 4-5 days to fully feel all the emotions that filled my brain — the confusion, hurt, anger, sadness, yearning, everything. No matter how busy you are, it is important to make time to feel those emotions. It doesn’t have to be full days. It could be an hour spread across several days or a weekend to get all those initial thoughts and feelings out. Without this, I think I would have struggled to get back into a routine or any semblance of normalcy.
2. Express any and all of your thoughts, especially the obsessive and recurring ones.
This could be to friends, to a journal, to your voice memos app, or to a private Snapchat story just for you. Find a space or multiple spaces where you can say anything and everything on your mind. Being able to read or hear the thoughts that circled around in my head helped me process them and free them from the seemingly endless pit that was my brain.
A small caveat, if you do talk to others about the event causing your transitional period, check-in with them and see if they have space for it. It’s something that I wish I did more at the beginning of my process. Also, if you have the resources to do so, I would recommend talking to a professional if you don’t already. You can start therapy at any time, but transitional periods are an especially good time.
3. Return to your routine.
Oftentimes, these transitional periods cause us to check out of our daily routines. Evaluate where you are currently at, establish a baseline for bare minimum tasks, and be forgiving with yourself. A transitional period is distressing and functioning at full capacity is difficult.
When I started rebuilding myself up, I started out wearing something other than sweats. It’s easy to neglect yourself and only take care of the most crucial responsibilities when you’re in this period. If your bare minimum responsibilities are all you can handle right now, that’s okay.
4. Fill the spaces that changed with things just for you.
Re-engage with an old hobby. Pick up a new hobby. If you have space for it, catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Make a new friend. Spend time taking care of the things that you neglected while you were processing your emotions.
In these past couple of weeks, I picked up ceramics, something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time but never got around to. I checked out the spin classes at the ARC. I spent time sitting outside in the sun. These hobbies and activities helped me separate my pre-transition and post-transition self.
5. Give yourself time, forgiveness, and love.
If you have been feeling your emotions, processing your thoughts, and attempting to return to whatever normal is now, you are doing the best that you can. Time doesn’t heal everything, but it does lessen the impact.
As I reflect on the first month of this year, I see how much progress I’ve made. I know I had to go through the mental trenches, so that I can feel like myself most days now. I don’t think transition periods are ever something you can get over because it builds you into the person you are today. I’ve been able to better see my weaknesses and strengths and grow from them. The causes of these periods release their emotional chokehold on you with time.
If you’re currently in a transition period, hang in there. There will be a day when you wake up and feel like yourself again. Just give it time.