The shame surrounding masturbation is common, especially for women. We have been led to believe that self-pleasure is distasteful and wrong. This is, clearly, rooted in misogynistic principles. The patriarchy has convinced us that we are not allowed to act as sexual beings and that we are instead objects made to pleasure men. Additionally, it dictates that women’s sexual pleasure is dependent on male genitalia. For men, masturbation is the norm and is regularly practised from a young age. The topic of female masturbation, however, is rarely discussed. Consequently, navigating masturbation as a woman can feel scary and unfamiliar. Whilst I am no expert, there are many resources to guide both myself and you, the reader. So, let’s get into it.
Get to know your body
Understanding your body is an important first step in ensuring successful stimulation. The vagina is complex. But stimulating yourself extends past just learning the terminology. Exploring and finding what feels good is essential and is applicable in basically every sexual act.
Different types of masturbation
Masturbation varies from person to person and involves any type of erotic touching or stimulation. Healthline.com categorises types of masturbation according to orgasm types, namely: clitoral, vaginal, anal, combo, and erogenous zone. A clitoral orgasm is achieved by playing with the clitoris, which can be done using your hands or with vibrators and other sex toys. Attaining a vaginal orgasm consists of penetration using your fingers or other sex toys. Similarly, an anal orgasm involves penetration using your fingers or sex toys. A combo orgasm involves stimulating both the vagina and clitoris and other sensitive parts of your body, with your hands or sex toys. Playing with sensitive parts of your body, erogenous zones, can further stimulate and enhance the types of masturbation mentioned.
Don’t prioritise the orgasm
Whilst orgasming brings immense gratification, masturbation is not just about orgasming or “finishing”. Rather, you should prioritise enjoying the experience regardless of whether you orgasm or not.
Have fun with it
Just because you aren’t engaging with a partner, doesn’t mean that the experience can’t be sexy or fun and that it doesn’t include foreplay. There are several ways to turn yourself on by engaging with your senses. Most people usually are familiar with and watch porn, which can increase libido, relieve stress, and allow you to explore sexual kinks safely. However, there are also other ways to get turned on. Erotic novels and kinky literature can encourage you to fantasize and explore sexual pleasures in a unique way. If you’re not into reading or watching porn, you can also listen to audio porn which allows your imagination to run wild. There’s something for everybody; don’t be scared to try new things.
Benefits of masturbation
Not only is masturbation pleasurable, but it also reaps many health benefits. Some of the known sexual health benefits include releasing sexual tension. It allows people to explore their sexuality by themselves and become familiar with their own sexual responses, which will assist them in communicating their wants and needs to their sexual partners. The general health benefits are that it aids in relaxation, promotes better sleep, and releases endorphins which cause feelings of physical and mental wellbeing. Additionally, it also enhances self-esteem and body image.
Whilst masturbation can feel scary for beginners, there is nothing to be afraid of. Masturbation is natural and healthy. It’s a fun and exciting way to explore your sexual nature and desires, which helps to enhance all your sexual experiences. Less patriarchy, more masturbation!
References/more information and guidance
https://www.dailyuw.com/special_sections/article_6d6a385c-30e1-11e9-8cd1-c7044c154c28.html
https://www.health.com/condition/sexual-health/women-masturbation-facts
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/ef932792-17b5-4274-bba3-3452070c3e10
https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/how-to-masturbate-for-women#takeaway
https://theconversation.com/is-it-normal-for-girls-to-masturbate-112393
https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/what-is-masturbation
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/masturbation