March is Women’s History Month. This title was declared by President Jimmy Carter as a way to recognize the sacrifices and journey of the women who came before us. As a white woman, I acknowledge my many points of privilege; I’ll never know discrimination like many minority communities can. However, 50.52% of the country identifies as female, and 42% of women have felt discriminated against in the workplace alone. Throughout history, women have had to conform to the idea that we’re less than men due to our genitalia and hormones and that because we have a uterus, our worth is found in our male offspring. Although I haven’t personally experienced extreme discrimination, Women’s History Month means a lot to me. It’s a reminder that no one else can define what kind of woman I am. My worth isn’t found in my purity, in my relationship with a man or in anything else but who I am as a human being.
From a young age, we hear that men are genetically superior, and women have their place running the home. I grew up in a Christian household, and I was taught the ways a woman should act. I was never told that I couldn’t have a specific job or that I wasn’t good enough; however, every Sunday reinforced the role I had to play, especially in a relationship with a man. I was supposed to always follow him, never question his authority, and ultimately be there to support him.
The role I was taught to abide never sat right with me: who said men know best or that women’s only purpose was to follow men, because that’s not in the Bible. As a little girl, I was taught that if I had an opinion that differed from my father’s, I was wrong and had to keep it to myself. The example of Adam and Eve stuck with me throughout my childhood. Eve goes off on her own and ignores Adam’s advice; she follows her heart and eats the forbidden fruit. Because she does this and persuades Adam to eat it as well, she condemns all of humanity, reinforcing the idea that if you stray from man’s advice, you could potentially be damning your soul to Hell. Scared of following my instincts, I learned to play the part I was taught. I was created to help populate the Earth and use my feminine, emotional side to help lift up men.
I remember specifically telling my mom the idea of marriage and children weren’t appealing to me, and her response was that that was my duty as a woman, once again showing me that my independence was a bad thing and that what I wanted didn’t really matter. As I transitioned into a teenager, I began having romantic relationships with boys, and I found myself hiding certain parts of my personality that didn’t fit the idea of the “perfect woman.” I started to hide my opinions, I agreed with things that would now disgust me to hear, and I learned to keep my mouth shut and follow along. This caused my relationships to go places I wasn’t ready for, yet I smiled and nodded my head. To disagree with any man was wrong, and because I was so young, I hadn’t yet learned to listen to the voice inside me that deserved to be heard.
I didn’t truly find my voice and a solid, foundational ground to stand on until I began a friendship with a man who cared about my opinions and asked the questions no one cared enough to ask. When I finally felt heard, I began to see my worth. We talked for hours about everything under the sun. He expressed his emotions and sat and listened to mine. He went out of his way to ask me how I felt about certain situations. Ultimately, he helped me learn to be vocal and articulate my opinions in a peaceful, civil discussion. He opened the door for me to see all of the beautiful thoughts in my mind, but part of me was still upset that it took a man to show me.
Then, I entered the “college experience,” my best friend moved hours away, and I was forced to find out who I was and what my beliefs were on my own. I found that in college, many women like having those difficult debates and bringing attention to the issues that plague the idea of feminism and how we should act. I found Her Campus, an all-girls group, which provided me with a safe place to form and articulate the opinions that in other places I’ve been scared to share. I’ve learned more about myself than ever before. I’ve been a part of Her Campus for over a year now, and one of the biggest takeaways I’ve found is that my religion and identity as a woman do not have to be meek and mild. Because of my journey and the path I believe God put me on, I’ve learned to combine my ideas of independence and my Christian beliefs; they don’t have to contradict each other. I began reading the Bible and forced myself to ignore some of the things I’d been taught and come to my own conclusion that the traditional role for women is not an accurate representation of how I was “supposed” to act in today’s world. Both men and women make mistakes and have bad judgment at times, but at the end of the day, I’m responsible for the way I react to situations, and I deserve the chance to be heard and make my own choices without basing them on a man’s opinion.
Women’s History Month is a time for recognizing the beautiful women who defied the standard gender role that was placed upon them; a month to give women the chance to make their own choices. I’m so thankful for the wonderful, outspoken women throughout history who have made it possible for women like me to talk about the struggles that we face. Even though my struggles may seem small in comparison to the suffering of women around the country, they’re still a part of the bigger issue of women being treated as inferior. We’ve come such a long way, but there’s still a long way to go. As I grow into the woman I want to be, I recognize the change that’s occurred, but I also see all the change that’s possible.