We’ve all been seventeen, dancing queens, (unless you’re still in high school) and we’ve all been asked the famous questions: What do you want to be when you grow up? What are you going to study once you get to college? I mean, I’ve only been on this planet for less than two decades right? How am I supposed to know?
Something I learned, kind of late, not going to lie, was that when we are seventeen, that should be our time to simply live. It’s the time to explore what we like and don’t like, to make mistakes, and to live our young years to the max. Sadly, I lived mine holed up in my room due to quarantine, but you know what I mean.
Society has created this pressure on us; i.e. a ticking clock of sorts, to make sure we have a definitive answer before the college admissions deadline is up. The lucky ones choose what they truly want, some choose something they are interested in, others choose something because of external validation (parents, for example) and the common denominator of all four types of college applicants are those that choose a major and they have no clue what they are getting themselves into.
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Let’s visualize a library. A row of bookshelves with paperbacks and hardcovers, magazines, and… what else can you find in a library? Picture it. Each item on the shelves is a major. But here’s the catch, in order to touch a book, you have to stick with it until you’re done reading it. Isn’t that overwhelming? What if I don’t like the book? That’s how I felt at 17. I felt that I couldn’t choose a major because I had to stick with it until graduation. I was terrified to settle for something I’m not passionate about, it’s one of my biggest fears.
Then, you get to college with the major you chose during admissions, almost a year in between. Sometimes, the major you chose is not what you expected at all. I started in marketing and thought it was gonna be all creative, cute and fun… not at all. It’s not bad! But it just wasn’t for me, too analytical for my taste, and the numbers! I don’t dig math, just saying. I made the switch to psychology, and barely lasted a semester. Again, not bad, it is something I’m interested in, but it wasn’t quite what matched with me. Yes, I’m on my third major, and hopefully it’ll be the right one, because “third time’s the charm!” Am I right?
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I’ve felt guilt upon guilt during these first two years of my college experience. I often felt like a failure or a quitter because I couldn’t stick to one thing for very long. I felt as if I was failing someone with each switch I made, but perhaps I was failing myself. I wasn’t taking the time to get to know myself, and figure out what I truly wanted. People used to tell me that it was normal and that I had my whole study career ahead of me. Um… I don’t want to be in a classroom my whole life!
Don’t even get me started on comparing myself to my friends. I thought I was the only one with choice anxiety. Sometimes all you have to do is ask. My friends, my high school classmates, they all seemed clear on what they wanted, they didn’t seem to mind their classes, what they were studying, and they seemed ok.. Everyone’s college experience is different, some of my friends have switched majors, others got into something they knew nothing about and ended up loving it, and others simply decided that the college route wasn’t for them at this point in their lives.
What I’m trying to say is, sometimes what you’re passionate about isn’t in a college classroom or a four year curriculum. Shocker, I know.
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What I’m passionate about is to create. Writing, Videography, Graphic Design, etc. There’s too many things I love to cram into one major. Maybe that’s why I love student organizations, I can explore as many of them as I want. I am still studying, with a major I feel like I actually enjoy, but I’m learning not to limit myself to it.
I just have to breathe, and you should too. There’s time to figure everything out. You don’t need to have a huge label on your forehead that says what you are passionate about in college, or ever really. It’s okay if it changes, it’s okay if what you thought was your passion, isn’t anymore. It’s okay if you haven’t found it yet, that means you can add a bit of everything to your life and try new things everyday.It’s okay to not know what you’re passionate about. Almost nobody knows half of the time. Release the pressure, make mistakes, get to know yourself better, and simply let it be. At some point or another, these answers will pop up. It will come to you. Maybe your passion lies among those you surround yourself with , who knows?
Lots of Love,