Hi, my name is Virginia! I’m a second-year university student, and I’m also a mom to three rambunctious boys all under the age of four. Needless to say, I’m busy! University is a challenging time in life for anyone, whether you’re 18 and fresh out of high school, in your twenties with three little kids, or you’re middle aged going back after your children are out of the house. I fall into the second category; I’m a little older than most of my peers, but also younger than most people who have three children, which brings about some interesting challenges. Although there aren’t many women who go to school while raising babies and toddlers, I know there are others out there. If you’re in a similar situation as me, I hope you too know you are not alone.
It can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I have a newborn, so I get very limited sleep and am awake throughout the night every single night. The pandemic and the lockdowns that have followed have been a blessing in disguise for me and I’m sure many others in similar situations. I understand it was really difficult for the majority of students to be stuck at home and not on campus, which is why the schools wanted us back as soon as possible, even if it maybe wasn’t the most safe, or the best timing. However, for me, it allowed me to stay in school while simultaneously taking care of my kids without worrying about childcare. I did sign up for this life though! I already had children when I decided to go back to school and though sometimes it makes me feel like an outsider, there are, in reality, so many different people in different life situations in university and I’m happy to promote raising kids while doing something amazing for yourself, like getting a degree. It doesn’t have to be a choice between one or the other!
Though it changes every day, here is what my school routine often looks like: I watch lectures online, in fragments, over the span of hours or days. It often takes me hours to watch one lecture; for example, the other day I was watching a lecture I was behind on, and it took me 4 hours to get 30 minutes into it with another 30 left). It can be frustrating, but at least I was able to get it done! If I attend class in person, I drive 30 minutes to attend my class and drive home. If I’m writing tests or quizzes (I’ve only had to do that online as of now!), it usually happens with kids screaming and crying, running in and out of the room asking me for food.
As you can see, my brain is only ever really able to give 50% of my attention to my schoolwork and I have zero additional study time to review lectures and notes (unless I want to stay up even later, but there’s no way I’m giving up sleep!). Taking care of a family is just as, if not more, time consuming than school. I have to get people dressed and bathed, make food, clean up, do laundry, grocery shop, and so much more. I honestly don’t even remember the last time I had a shower or bath by myself so you can see why I don’t have time for studying. Being a mother and a student are both full-time jobs on their own, but there aren’t enough hours in the day to give 100% to both, and I will always prioritize my family even if it’s incredibly frustrating that I can’t do the same for my schoolwork. If you are a parent in school, you must be amazing at multitasking. Know that you are basically a superhero, and some days you feel like one, while other days you question your entire life, asking yourself “Why did I have kids?” or “Is school really worth it? I could just drop out and work at McDonalds.” While it’s a lot of stress, it’s not all challenges. You do have the cutest motivation to inspire you to keep going. I don’t get your typical fun, social, carefree experience but I’m grateful I’m able to get an education and do my best for my family and our future!