A Guide to Overcoming Your Fears Through Shadow Work

* topics mentioned here could potentially be emotionally triggering.

Shadow work. You might have seen this term pop up on your TikTok ‘For You’ page time and time again, and whether or not that is a coincidence or a sign, I’ll leave that up to you. Before you dismiss it as mere spiritual nonsense, shadow work is actually a practice with roots in psychology. 

What is shadow work?

To sum it up, shadow work is the art of facing your fears or triggers in a detached manner in order to overcome and learn from it. In more formal and specific terms, when you are practising shadow work, you’re exploring parts that you’ve “exiled” when you were a child because of factors such as guardians telling you such actions are ‘not acceptable’ in society, according to psychiatrist Carl Jung. As such, these facets of your true self are repressed and pushed into the depths of your mind, becoming “shadow parts”. 

Many of us — including yours truly — have been running from our problems for as long as we can remember. Why go through the torture of thinking about your deepest fears and risk spiralling into a dark place? Why willingly find problems to solve when you feel ‘fine’? Instead of facing these fears head-on, we might be tackling them in unhealthy ways, such as self-soothing using alcohol, ignoring, justifying or over-rationalising them.

That’s where the benefits of performing shadow work come in. You’ll know yourself better, interact with others more easily and find better ways to cope with difficult situations once you know the roots of your ‘problems’. If personal growth and living authentically are especially important to you, shadow work is definitely worth trying out.

How do I perform shadow work?

This is not a rare occurrence in therapy, so if you’d like a professional experience, we highly recommend you seek help from a therapist.

However, shadow work can also be done by yourself. The process is definitely uncomfortable as it brings you face to face with thoughts or imagined scenarios you might have been trying to escape, but always remember to view it from a detached perspective, though you don’t always have to be unemotional or logical. It could also help to think of your triggers from a third-person perspective, which discourages you from becoming too emotionally involved. Use the 5W and 1Hs to prevent yourself from getting too wrapped up in a single thought. Once you’re done with the tangent, release it and rest or move on to the next one. Here are some methods to get you started:

1. Questions and answers

Our ‘shadow side’ often lurks in things that we find especially irritating or unnerving. Think of something that annoys or triggers a negative reaction in you when it happens or when someone else unknowingly does it. For example, not being able to complete assignments well and on time, lack of boundaries in personal relationships or when somebody you love pulls away emotionally.

• Why do you react (anger, fear, overthinking and more) in such a way? 
• Which part of your life did this reaction stem from? Many psychologists, such as Jung and Tara Swart, author of The Source, a book exploring the science behind Law of Attraction, believe that how we act when our shadow self is triggered can be traced back to our childhood. 
• Which particular event do you feel sparked this ‘shadow’? Was it a lack of an emotionally stable upbringing or was your success always prioritised above everything else? When you have a better understanding of the ‘root’ of the problem, it’s much easier to understand and eventually even overcome it in time.

2. Follow your intuition

Other psychologists recommend you follow your instincts. This requires you to be honest with yourself. What has been bugging you for a long time or that you instinctively feel needs work?

3. Find out more about yourself and go from there

If you aren’t as connected to yourself as you’d like to be, slow down and practice mindfulness. Notice the thoughts that go through your head and the emotions that you feel. How do you feel when you wake up (besides lethargy)? Anxious about the day ahead? Nervous? At peace? What do you feel when you’re doing a piece of work that you particularly dread? Why do you feel that way? Knowing your true self takes a lot of time, patience and observation. It might help to write it down to keep track and find patterns between your emotions.

You could also use more reliable personality tests as a springboard. Most personality tests such as the MBTI test aren’t accurate, so make sure to do your research! One that has really worked for me and accurately reflected what I should work on is the Enneagram test, which explores your core personality trait. Another popular one is the Big Five personality test. Ruijia introduces a few more interesting ones in her article. There is usually a ‘weaknesses’ section with a few traits you may or may not agree with. (If you personally believe in astrology and find it aligns well with your life, you could use that too — upon research, astrologists highlight Lilith, Mars, Saturn and Pluto aspects among others.) Find out what you should be focusing on healing and start from there.

If and when you’re ready to delve deeper, you can work through your relationship with yourself. A common method is to write down a list of things you dislike most about yourself. This can range from your appearance to a tendency you have. Likewise, explore why you dislike this part of yourself. Where did this feeling come from?

Shadow work can be triggering because it unearths the very thing(s) you’re uncomfortable with, but it promotes a more healthy, balanced mindset and a better understanding of yourself. You should never feel pressured to do it or rush through it — only when you feel intuitively ready.

Disclaimer: I’ve used my personal experience with shadow work as well as a few sources as listed below.

• Mindbodygreen
• Healthline
• @auravibin on TikTok

• overcoming fears
• psychology
• shadow work