Welcome everyone. This is a safe space. Whether you regularly give blow jobs or whether it’s your first time, giving blow jobs is a cultivated technique. What one person likes may be different from another so it’s good to be aware of the different techniques, tips, tricks, styles, motions and rhythms to try.
Positioning
Communicating with your partner on what they would like and what you’re happy to do is important. People that have penises tend to enjoy the visual element of watching someone give them a blow job, just as much as actually receiving the blow job. So by having a clear view, your partner will only enjoy it more. Some positions you could try are: 69, straddling your partner’s chest, lying on the bed, sitting down, standing and The Sword Swallower – where the receiver lays on the bed on their back with their head off the edge of the bed and the penetrator standing over the receiver’s face, giving a great view of the receiver’s body.
Lube/Spit
Whilst it’s completely up to you as to whether you want to use lube or just your own spit, you should remember that a penis is supposed to be stimulated by the vagina. What this means, is that it’s inevitably helpful to attempt to recreate this environment – think a tight, warm and wet environment. If you’re unsure as to whether to use lube, then maybe have some within reach if you’re having difficulty if it’s your first time. Remember to take your time.
Hands
Don’t go straight in with putting the penis in your mouth. Try and work to it by giving your partner a hand job, where you could use lots of lube or spit to make it as enjoyable for them as possible. A heterosexual male’s sex drive comes from the desire to be inside a vagina. But remember to not make the hand job too long but you want to give the idea of temptation and to fill his mind with desire. Always try and keep at least one, if not both hands on your partner’s penis at all times. Having more things going on will keep them happy.
A really good podcast that talks about the different techniques of using your hands, mouth and tongue is Call Her Daddy, specifically the episode that discusses The Gluck Gluck 3000 and The Gluck Gluck 9000 – if you know, you know. By doing this technique, it creates the sensation of depth and stimulates your partner’s entire shaft.
Begin at the Tip
The tip is a very sensitive part of the penis, so it’s a good idea to pay a lot of attention to it, especially when you first start giving head. Using your tongue and playing with the tip can be extremely satisfying, pleasurable and enjoyable for the male. For the first few insertions just focus on the tip, with your hands on the rest of the penis.
Try not to worry about deep throating, especially if it’s your first time. Deep throating is not a natural ability for anyone. It’s a complete myth that has been stimulated and perpetuated by porn, that you should easily be able to deep throat. Whilst it’s true that some people might find it easier than others, you shouldn’t feel self-conscious or anxious if it doesn’t come natural to you. It’s important that you communicate this with your partner how you’re feeling, and you should never do anything that you don’t want to do either. That said, if you are comfortable to try it then take it easy and work yourself up to deep throating – don’t just go for it if it is your first time. Take time, be comfortable and go slowly.
Remember the penis, balls and legs!
These areas are very sensitive and special places for the receiver, touching these areas can make the receiver feel really good. Before you do this though, remember to ask consent for your partner to make sure that they’re okay with this, especially with touching their balls. If you’re uncertain how to approach touching your partner’s balls, it’s a good idea to communicate this with them. Anyone would much rather you communicate that you’re uncertain rather than pretend to enjoy something that you’re not really enjoying. A good way to start is very lightly with your fingers. This way it makes your partner cum much easier. If they like the light touching, then you can start to put more grip and feeling into this with a grab.
Another special bit to remember is the perineum – the area between the bum and penis. This area has lots of nerve endings and can feel great when touched. Remember you should only do what you and your partner are comfortable with, so if they’re not happy or not enjoying something, respect this and move on.
Speed and Rhythm
It’s natural, especially for your first time when you’re new or slightly unsure of what you’re doing to be unaware of the speed you need to go. Most people tend to go faster than they actually need to and that probably relates to a bit of nerves. By going fast or too fast, it makes your partner feel like they have to hurry up and that there’s a time pressure, which then can inevitably make it difficult for them to focus on it. When you’re going slower, there is a lack of pressure and your partner will inevitably feel more comfortable. Also, by keeping a steady rhythm and slowly increasing the speed, it helps to build up your partner’s orgasm.
Spit or Swallow?
When it comes to your partner’s climax, you should do exactly what is comfortable for you. For your first time or first few times, it’s important that you communicate with your partner what you’re happy to do and what you’re comfortable with. If you’re happy for them to ejaculate into your mouth, you have two options – spitting or swallowing. No one has any right at all to tell you to swallow – do exactly what you’re comfortable with. It’s your body and your choice. Remember, if your partner doesn’t respect your choices, they don’t deserve to have sex with you.
Sex Toys
If you and your partner are happy to, you can include some sex toys to increase the intense feelings and enhance the overall experience. Cock rings keep your partner’s penis harder for a longer period of time and cock rings can also stimulate your partner’s shaft and their balls. Cock rings can also be used when you’re having sex with your partner, if you have a vagina, you can get on top of your partner and manoeuvre the ring so that it vibrates against your clitoris.