With spring being the season of rebirth, it is a great time to finally revisit those new year’s resolutions and once again reinvent and improve yourself. While there is nothing inherently wrong with trying to be a more positive person, it is so easy to fall down a rabbit hole of toxic positivity. What could be so toxic about positivity? It is not the positivity itself that is toxic, but rather the approach and perspective.
Perfectionism is a major aspect of toxic positivity. With self-improvement, it is key to remember that you are a human and it is a very human thing to have flaws. No one is on their best game, looks their best, acts their best and feels their best every single day. Arguably the hardest part of self-improvement is accepting your personal flaws.
A change in routine is the first step towards general change. As someone that can stay up until sunrise binge-watching movies, waking up early was a major step up in my personal routine. As cliche as it is, waking up early can really work wonders. Early does not have to be 5 a.m., but waking up earlier than usual can still create major improvements.
Speaking from personal experience, my productivity shoots up compared to when I decided to go to bed and wake up later. There is more time in the day to do what I need while still being able to enjoy the rest of my day. It also forces consistency in daily routine. Additionally, having to wake up earlier can make you more aware of your sleeping patterns, in my personal experience.
While there is a lot of pressure to make college the peak of your social life, it is okay to take a step back. It can even be for the better to be alone and really get to know who you are. Only one version of you exists, so how can you make it the best possible version if you don’t even know who you’re working with? Of course, do not completely detach from socializing and cutting off all of your important relationships. Rather, learn what your true interests are. It is so easy to go with the crowd and become adjacent to a people pleaser if you have no strong sense of self.
Ask yourself foundational questions such as what clothes do you really like to wear, how do you genuinely enjoy spending free time and what are your true personal beliefs that no one can change? The biggest thing to remember when asking yourself these questions is that what other people think in this context should be the least important part of your answer to yourself. From there new confidence completely fueled by your own personal perspective will blossom. The anxiety of others’ opinions will fade.
Slightly taking back my earlier statement on perfectionism being toxic, having your sh*t together is a huge level up. Personally, this is something that I am not the most consistent on. I am sure a lot of readers can relate to not always having it together. While it is completely unnecessary to be a straight-A student, it is better to be closer to that than constantly drowning under responsibilities.
Do what you need to do in order to get the important things done. If you work best at Starbucks, in the library or in complete silence, choose the best environment. If a written planner or an online planner works best pick the best option for yourself. I know a lot of readers can relate to procrastination due to anxiety. It is easier said than done but just starting without thinking too much about the details is the hardest part.
Finally, how can you be your best if you don’t physically feel your best? Eat a vegetable here and there, stop drinking alcohol, consuming nicotine and start going to the gym are all great pieces of advice that have been shared in the same format too many times.
You don’t have to just drink water, drink tea or add berries if that makes you happier. Don’t see the gym as a chore to get a hot bod, but do it to see how strong you can get. Do it because you and your body deserve only the best treatment possible. You don’t have to spend hours on the treadmill. Do a hot girl walk, join a sport, go to a group class or just walk outside. The outdoor time can’t hurt.
You don’t have to quit drinking and nicotine cold turkey, just keep it down to weekends and see where that goes. Salads aren’t the only way to get in vegetables. Have fun with it and try a new recipe or a new takeout order. After some time you’ll adjust and all the basic healthy habits become second nature.
All of this advice was curated from personal experience and from what I learned from others in my closest relationships. While the above advice is general, do what works best for you. Remember that you are still a human that makes mistakes and has flaws. In the context of self-improvement, work with yourself, not against yourself.