Spring Break 2022 was undoubtedly one of the best weeks of my life. I had spent an entire year thinking about it, planning for it, packing for it. An entire year of stress and worry and preparation and excitement. I had spent two months before it emotionally preparing, and the last two weeks before it were spent buying new clothes and shoes and anything that I could think of that would be useful overseas—phone charger adapters, travel makeup and packing cubes (with which to shove all my clothes into my carry-on bag). The day before I left, as snow fell from the sky in little flakes to make miniature mountains on the windowsill, I could hardly sleep, or do anything productive. Homework and the growing piles of papers and tests that would be waiting for me when I got back were the least of my worries. I was overcome with the anticipation of adventure, of beautiful sights and new experiences, and I was also struck with deep anxiety and fear.
I was about to leave on an international trip with three of my closet friends from high school to visit another friend who lives in Scotland, and I wanted it to be perfect. On one hand, all the money I had spent on plane and train tickets, hotel rooms, and the Covid test I would have to take at the airport created a financial expectation—I wanted to get my money’s worth. A trip like this was a big deal for me—not only had I never properly left the country before (I had only skimmed the outskirts of the sea on a family cruise), but I had also never travelled without my family before. I was never one of those kids who was inexplicably able to plan trips with friends at fifteen. I didn’t have the financial means or confidence to do so. I couldn’t spend this much money just to leave the country and not have an amazing time. My biggest fear was flying myself thousands of miles across the ocean just to be anxious, detached and not present in the moment.
I know it might sound ridiculous to be so worried about something like a vacation, but this trip felt like something more. I had a feeling that this trip would change me in some small way. Maybe it would empower me. Maybe it would give an even deeper love for traveling. As I closed my suitcase on that Friday morning, struggling to get the zipper shut, I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that expectations of fun were only going to put pressure on the moment. I wasn’t going to force myself to have fun. I wasn’t going to feel guilty about not seeing every sight or taking a picture of every little thing. I was going to try and simply be present, be with my friends, and be kind to myself.
With expectations lowered, I knew that, regardless of what would happen, the trip would be amazing. I had always wanted to visit the UK, and I was so excited to spend time in London and Edinburgh. I knew the Scottish countryside was going to be beautiful. What I didn’t know, or rather didn’t expect, was that I was about to have one of the best weeks of my life. Thinking about it now, as I write this, I can’t believe how amazing of an experience it was. If I really reflect on my travels, I know it wasn’t just the sights of a new city or the hills of green grass that made the trip so beautiful. It was my friends. I hadn’t realized just how much I had missed being with them until I saw them all in the Heathrow Airport. College had relocated us all across the United States, and to all be together again was an experience I will never take for granted.
When I have traveled in the past, I’ve always been a bit neurotic, a bit too frantic. I would feel guilty if I didn’t see everything there was to see, if I didn’t visit every local spot and every major tourist site. I wanted to leave wherever I had visited feeling like I knew it, like I had experienced everything it had to offer. But with my friends, I felt calm. I didn’t care that we didn’t see everything, and the things that we did see were meaningful. Some of my favorite moments from the trip were the nights we stayed in our flat (very British!) and ordered takeaways and treats and watched compilations of Dance Moms episodes. Or the night we cooked dinner together, each working in the kitchen and preparing pasta with ingredients from the Borough Market. The novelty of being in London together never wore off, and we were laughing the entire time at the hilarity of it all. When my friends went along with me to Abbey Road Studios I could have cried. As a lifelong fan of the Beatles, to stand before the building where they recorded their music with my best friends was a surreal experience. It meant the world to me that they came along.
Scotland was incredible. The rocky crags which surround the city of Edinburgh were beautifully juxtaposed against the deep blue of the sky. The weather was perfect. It hardly rained, and when it did it fell gently, cold droplets that raced down our umbrellas. Standing on the edge of the cliffs, overlooking the entire city, a rainbow appeared in the sky. Everywhere you looked could have been a photograph or a painting, from the castles which dotted the landscape to the crowds galivanting through the cobbled streets at night. Even with all the beauty around me, nothing was so great as seeing my friend in Scotland. Once again, I was struck by how deeply I had missed him. Seeing him there, hearing about his experience in university, meeting his flat mates, and walking together past castles and cathedrals and stores filled with trinkets filled me with unbearable joy. I am so proud of the person he has become and beyond grateful to have someone like him in my life.
On the plane ride back to the US, I could hardly sit still. I was absolutely beaming with joy. I was desperately sad to be leaving my friends and to be leaving the UK, but I couldn’t stop smiling thinking back on the amazing week I had. The man in the seat sitting next to me probably thought I was ridiculous for the way I was grinning and bopping my head along to my music. Inspired, I opened the notes app in my phone and typed out a tiny list of things I could remember about the trip. There were hundreds of memorable moments, and if I tried to catch them all in my hand, I knew it would be like trying to hold water with a net. Some things would surely slip from my memory. Instead, I wrote down what came to me in the moment. Looking at the list as I write this, I can’t help but smile. Some of the items are cryptic and hardly make sense to me now. Some of them are ridiculous. Some of them are funny. But the last one is without a doubt my favorite: “This trip was amazing, and it felt both short and long. I felt like I was living in the present, and each day was so exciting and new. What a spectacular thing to do with my friends.”
