“Whenever we look at the past, it is in the past. All we can do now is stay in the present, and take the pieces of us we have learned about, and move forward.”
PositivePsychology
Imagine a frame with pictures and experiences of your past from childhood, high school, and early adulthood; filled with many colors; both pain and happiness. One day you come home and it has fallen, and the glass and pictures are shattered all across the floor. You have a choice to pick up a few of the pieces and see your reflection and take them with you to grow and remember. You also have a choice to move on and throw out the ones you don’t need in your life anymore and overcome. What pieces would you choose?
PAST
Some of the pictures scattered on the floor may be your family vacations, activities at school, or simply pictures of you growing up. The family pictures can be filled with joy and good memories for some, and for others stress, and negative feelings. Family structure and childhood life play a role in future relationships, and obstacles we may come across. Families allow us to have a sense of comfort, love, and support. No family is perfect, and whether it was divorce or not, everyone has something they’re dealing with. The school memories can bring back times of needing to fit in, and comparing ourselves to others. But, it can also mean new friendships, good times with amazing teachers, and sports. Pictures of yourself can remind you of personal struggles, but these can also be seen as life lessons if you see them in a silver-lining type of way.
As you can tell, the last paragraph goes back and forth because everyone’s experiences are up and down, positive and negative throughout their lives. A few ways you can reflect when looking at the broken glass are accepting, embracing, and learning to move forward with your life. Throwing out the ones that don’t benefit you anymore is not forgetting, it is simply accepting and removing the weight from your shoulders. Choose to see the pieces with pain, as a reflection then move on, and the happy memories, as a guide that will lead you in a positive direction in life. You may even notice many changes that you went through and the different chapters in your life. You’re capable of allowing peace within yourself to rewrite your story. You’re the author of your own thoughts.
Remember, your past does not define you and you will overcome the struggles and be stronger from it. You’re allowed to feel and express feelings, be yourself, and find joy in the simple things. Sometimes you just have to say “it is what it is” and “these things happened for a reason” because you would not be the amazing person you’re right now without these experiences. Maybe you didn’t have the best family or friend memories but you do now, or you are really sad right now but remember a happy memory. This exercise can allow you to cope with realities and create space for you to understand what helps you and gives you the energy to be yourself.
Present
Broken: YOU’RE NOT BROKEN. YOU’RE BREAKING THROUGH. You’re healing. These are just thoughts and they only have as much power as you allow them to. Accept where you are right now in this present moment. Relax in knowing, possibly realizing, everything you have learned in your life and the experiences you went through.
So where does this feeling of being “broken” come from?
It may be from negative coping skills, friendships, stress, feeling down about ourselves, and or feeling alone. But, these feelings are okay to have at times. A few ways to prevent this feeling are by having a support system, communicating with others, reflecting often, and finding joy in the little things you love to do. Over time, you may notice feelings of emotional exhaustion and overwhelm turn to feelings of being powerful, amazing, and strong.
Now, time to go pick up the camera that has been in your drawer for years, and create new memories because there is so much beauty within and around us. Develop broken pieces into sometimes so much more beautiful than what you have learned.
FUTURE
As you go through your day-to-day you may start to have questions about life as you continue to have an open heart and mind. Look at your perspective and embrace the many uncertainties as difficult as they may be. What are some goals you have? Any exciting plans for the next few months? What brings you joy in your life?
At the end of the day, you notice the glass shattered on the floor wasn’t actually broken. It was your mind piecing together the puzzle of your past. The more you look at your past, the more you realize the best thing to do is stay present and start living for today. You choose the pieces that give you energy, allow you to be your best self, and continue to learn and create memories for your future goals.