Deconstructing the idea of “women”, the importance of hanging out with other friendly femmes and 4 things to do with them!
Spending time with your friends is an invaluable part of life’s experience, especially a university one. This article is about the value of spending time with your friends, but especially the importance of spending time with femmes as a femme.
First, though, let’s quickly deconstruct the idea of ‘girls’. In this article, the word “girls” is used for anyone who identifies as one of the girls, who is a girl, or someone who connects thoroughly to their femininity as a nonbinary person like myself. There is no persistence in the exclusion of Transgender women, Trans-femme or non-binary people. Feminine energy is something that connects people, that brings people who share a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world as feminine people together. All feminine energies suffer under the rule of patriarchy and capitalism. The way that femmes suffer and understand each other’s suffering, not only politically but personally, is why it is so crucial for femmes to come together and connect intimately. Creating a circle of safety, love and support for one another.
Sitting down with another woman/femme and talking about the complexities of living in a society that is designed to place them in the rear positions can be so validating, not only of your own struggles but that you are not alone in them. That this is not some bizarre simulation where a real connection is impossible. I’m sure if you bring up your relationships with your guardians and parents growing up, there will be similarities and differences to gently compare. In essence, there is a superior bond between women because of their divine connections to themselves and their femininity. Surrounding yourself with this assurance of understanding, support, and love is essential for your self-confidence and engagement with other people.
If you’re just now wanting to connect with other friendly femmes, or even if you already have, here are some ways to strengthen those connections.
In a comfortable space, be honest, open and communicative.
With your femmes there is an opportunity for safety and support, please do not ruin it by being dishonest, noncommunicative or hiding things. Of course, you are allowed to guard and protect your energy. You are entitled to keep some things safe to yourself. However, try to let yourself be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be strengthened by the love of your friends
Practise self-care together
This can happen in any typical way – face masks, giggling at silly moments from your day, while painting your nails. Or it can be journaling together. Any form of self-care you feel can be shared; Try doing it with one of your girlfriends and enjoy it together. This creates a sense of vulnerability and safety as self-care is a time for some R & R (rest and relaxation), something that takes some quiet and a lot of honesty.
Plan to take down the current socio-economic-cultural-political states that oppress you together
Seriously, some of the funniest and most stimulating conversations I have had with women have been about – or have digressed from – discussions about our mutual, passionate hatred for the world’s current state.
Play 36 Questions to fall in love!
I do not think there is a better or easier way to connect with someone than to get to know them. 36 Questions to fall in love is a free and accessible list of questions created by the New York Times, designed for people to get to know each other better and maybe even fall in love.
Plan to take down the current socio-economic-cultural-political states that oppress you together.
Seriously, some of the funniest and most stimulating conversations I have had with women have been about – or have digressed from – discussions about our mutual, passionate hatred for the world’s current state.
Navigating relationships with women and feminine people can be tricky. However, finding a group or many groups of femmes you connect to is vital for your and other femmes’ survival. Remember to be honest, communicative and kind. Get with people who get you!