As you packed up your old college dorm room and got ready to kiss the campus life goodbye, you stopped to imagine yourself unpacking these same boxes into a brand new real-person apartment. You probably didn’t picture yourself crying over your rent check, or yelling at the furniture assembly manual, but good for you for thinking optimistically!
As the graduettes who came before you can attest, there are a few stages you can expect to go through on your journey (read: emotional rollercoaster) from dorm room to adult apartment. Just think, if Kimmy Schmidt can find somewhere to live, so can you!
1. The last hurrah
This first stage consists of tearful goodbyes with anyone and anything you ever encountered on your college campus. From the last supper at your favorite restaurant, to your last time studying in your beloved cubicle in the library stacks, and your last moments shared with your college besties, this final period is hella depressing. But don’t worry, that was so not your last late night food run (trust us)!
2. The move back home
Luckily, your parents (read: your pets’ snuggles and your mom’s cooking) are there to ease the post-college depression. You sleep in your childhood bed, eat all of your favorite foods and maybe (if you’re lucky), you even get your laundry done for you. Suddenly, living at home doesn’t seem so bad.
3. The “I cannot live at home one day longer” panic attack
The appeal of living back under your parents’ roof wares off real fast. With your mom all up in your grill 24/7, and your dad trying to implement a midnight curfew (is he for real?!), you’re planning an escape route at every chance you get. The pressure’s on to find a job and an apartment ASAP.
4. The apartment search
It’s a new season of “House Hunters”…starring you! What could be better?! You love exploring different neighborhoods, buildings and units. “I could totally live here,” you think to yourself, until you hear the rent price. Time to adjust your search parameters.
5. The apartment application
You find a place you like at a price that doesn’t make you nauseous. But don’t rejoice just yet, you’ve got to get approved. It’s like college admissions or sorority rush all over again, with double the paperwork! Where’s the RA when you need her?
6. The signing of the lease
YASSSS QUEEN! You’re on top of the world! You’re a strong, competent adult, ready to take the real world by storm.
7. The bills
By the way, you also have to pay for electric, utilities, cable and wifi, to name a few. Well, if you want to actually live in the apartment, that is. This real world thing is expensive!
8. The day trip to Ikea
Too many options! Too much walking! Too many letters in the product names!
9. The attempt at being handy
Why wasn’t there a college course entitled “assembling furniture”? Whatever, furniture is overrated. Who needs a dresser anyway?
10. The grocery store run
If stocking your mini fridge in the dorm was exciting, just wait until you get your hands on a full-sized refrigerator. You go a little overboard at the grocery store, but that’s okay, because you’re totally going to eat every meal at home in your new adult kitchen!
11. The cooking endeavor
OMG you’re so domestic. You can’t wait to Instagram your homemade #noms, that is until you give a new meaning to “smoked chicken” and the fire department shows up. Oh well, nothing a Domino’s delivery and a Netflix binge can’t fix!
12. The first night in your new room
On second thought, maybe the Law and Order SVU marathon was a bad idea. The real world is a big, scary place. Where are your friends? Why aren’t they right down the hall?
13. The housewarming party
Thank God! Your friends are here!! It feels like you’re back in college. Except that apartment parties are way classier than frat parties. Cheers to adulthood!
14. The new weeknight routine
You really start to love your new place once you realize it will NOT be the scene of endless studying and stressing. You no longer feel guilty about spending quality time with your couch and your TV at the end of a long day. Nights in have never looked so good!
15. The “It feels like home” revelation
Welcome home, graduettes! The real world is happy to have you!