Every year, hundreds of thousands of students graduate college â and maybe, this year was your year. Finally, the stress of homework, the boredom of lectures and classes, and the fear of failing undergrad is over. Now, if you are not done with your schooling, I wish you the best of luck in continuing your academic journey. But, for my free besties, youâre now faced with an even more challenging decision: What to tell family and friends what your next plans are.
Not every graduating college student has a job lined up, a wedding to plan, or a baby to welcome, so what are you supposed to tell everyone? That youâre meeting the girlies for brunch on a âschool dayâ now? Thatâs totally not happening when I graduate â I want my family to think Iâm moving on to the next big thing with my degree that we spent a couple hundred thousand dollars on and applying it somewhere.Â
Some grads feel comfortable enough to admit to family and friends that an immediate job, relationship, or family isnât it, but what about everyone dealing with secrets and the âshameâ of not having life ready for them? Here are some tips that a fellow fear-driven girl is dealing with.
- âWhat are your post-grad job plans?â
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If youâre totally set in what youâre doing after graduation career-wise, go ahead and brag! However, to my underprepared besties, letâs talk. You have a couple of options as to what to tell the merciless family and friends that insist on answers:Â
“I’m searching for the right fit.”
My favorite line to use is, âIâm looking for something that I feel comfortable/qualified enough to take on.â Most likely, youâll get hit with the âjust find a job, you can change later,â to which I raise the question to my inquirers: why waste an employer’s time? Thatâll hush âem for a while.Â
“I’m looking into opportunities at ______.”
If you feel like your familyâs inquiries are too relentless, tell them that you need more experience to qualify for a good-paying job. Name-drop some non-profits youâre interested in or ideas you have that they maybe donât know too much about.Â
- “Are you still with (insert ex’s name)?
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First of all, ew. Second of all, ew. It’s an awkward question, but one you’re bound to face at some point. I hate when my family brings up past interests, flames, or relationships, especially if they ended badly, but thatâs one of the things you may have to bear.
“No, I’m happy on my own right now.”
Generally, I like to tell my family that my ex did or said something that the family wouldnât agree with so they’ll never bring them up again. (Works like a charm.) However, sometimes, if you keep things vague, they’ll probably get the hint.
- “Are You dating anyone?”
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If youâre planning your wedding or fresh off the honeymoon or even just in a stable relationship, tell your family what you wish, but my fellow singles sometimes need outs. So, for my single peeps out there, I typically go with:
“Not at the moment, I’m focusing on myself and my career.”
Tell the fam that youâre looking for someone you would feel proud to introduce to them. Tell them that no one fits the moral bill and that you feel they should create a good relationship and/or family environment. Or, you could settle for saying that you’re focusing on yourself: Who doesn’t love self-love?
- “When are you having kids?â
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For many post-grads out there, this can be a doozy. However, you’re bound to hear it at some point.
“When I’m stable enough in my career, I’d love to have kids in the future!”
A good excuse for not being prepared for children is honesty. You may not be ready for kids or maybe you and your partner have agreed to wait. A good idea to bring up is that you want to be financially stable or married or whatever your truth is until you welcome kids.
“Honestly, I’m not looking to have kids in the future.”
I, personally, at this point in my life feel like I might not want kids in my future, and Iâm willing to tell everyone my truth. However, if you donât feel comfortable or willing to explain yourself (which you shouldnât have to do).Â
Itâs not exactly a breeze to dodge or explain questions after graduation, but letâs try to make it as painless as possible.